Difference between revisions of "Jerkhief"

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[[Image:JerkhiefProfile.jpg|thumb|75px|His wooden badge looks delicious.]]
[[Image:JerkhiefProfile.jpg|thumb|150px|His wooden badge looks delicious.]]


'''Jerkhief''' is the [[Niggos|black]] leader of the [[Jerkops]] known best for uttering [[Random-access humor|nonsensical phrases]] such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in [[Sonichu 4]]. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who told the manchild to GTFO; Chris had his [[Attraction Sign]] at the time and he was apparently creeping out the people in front of [[GameStop]]. [[Chris]] has put Jerkhief's weight at three-quarters of a ton, failing to understand that someone that obese would barely be able to move.
'''Jerkhief''' (pronounced {{IPA|[ˈdʒɝ.kiːf]}} "jur-keef"<ref>[[Sonichu 3 Official Videobook]]</ref>) is the [[Niggos|black]] leader of the [[Jerkop|Jerkops]] known best for uttering [[Random-access humor|nonsensical phrases]] such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in [[Sonichu 4|''Sonichu'' #4]]. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who chased [[Chris]] out of the mall for having his [[Attraction Sign]] on full display and apparently creeping out the people in front of [[GameStop]]. Chris has put Jerkhief's weight at [[Obesity|three-quarters of a ton]], [[Honor roll|failing to understand]] that [[Chris and reality|someone that obese would barely be able to move]].


In ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'', Jerkhief interrupted [[CWC]]'s [[Love Quest]] and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was being a whiny faggot as usual and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in [[CWCville Shopping Center]].
In ''[[Sub-Episode 1]]'', Jerkhief interrupted [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|CWC]]'s [[Love Quest]] and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was adamant about his quest and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of [[Chris-chan Sonichu]]. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in [[CWCville Shopping Center]].


==="My wooden badge was delicious!"===
As Chris has noted, the character design for [[Manajerks#B-Manajerk|B-Manajerk]] gives him a face quite similar to Jerkhief.
As one of the things that has utterly baffled readers, someone was courageous enough to ask Chris this in [[IRC (31 December 2008)|an IRC chat]] and Chris explained its meaning:


[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|lolwut?]]
=="My wooden badge was delicious!"==
[[Image:Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|thumb|Dogpile!]]
[[Image:MyWoodenBadgeWasDelicious.jpg|thumb|left|The famous quote in question.]]


{{quote|the Jerkhief has a Badge made from TREE wood, painted to look like an "official" police badge, and the Jerkops under him have Badges made from [[Wikipedia:Graham cracker|Graham Crackers]], painted to be the mockery badges as well. The Jerkhief portrayed on the cover took a bite out of his wooden badge, as if it was made from a Graham Cracker, and called it delicious like a Graham Cracker...which you would have learned that from the [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|"Backyard Safari" Sub-Episode.]]|}}
This quote, seen on the cover of ''Sonichu'' Issue #4, is an infamous case of [[Random-access humor]] that has utterly baffled readers of the webcomic. Eventually, someone was courageous enough to ask Chris what the hell this line was about in [[IRC (31 December 2008)|an IRC chat]] and Chris explained its meaning:


This is backed up by [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_56 Sonichu Issue 4, pages 55-56]. Even with the explanation, it is strange for Jerkhief to compare the taste of tree bark to a sweet treat.
{{quotebox|the Jerkhief has a Badge made from TREE wood, painted to look like an "official" police badge, and the Jerkops under him have Badges made from {{w|Graham cracker|Graham Crackers}}, painted to be the mockery badges as well. The Jerkhief portrayed on the cover took a bite out of his wooden badge, as if it was made from a Graham Cracker, and called it delicious like a Graham Cracker...which you would have learned that from the [[Sonichu 4#Sub-Episode 6: "Christian Chandler's Backyard Safari"|"Backyard Safari" Sub-Episode]].}}
 
This is backed up by ''Sonichu'' Issue 4, pages 55-56. Even with the explanation, it is strange for Jerkhief to compare the taste of tree bark to a sweet treat.
 
When [[Medallions#Mark 1 (and decoy)|a troll recorded himself destroying the Sonichu Medallion]], he recited the line for no apparent reason, but did so with a smug sense of satisfaction as he showcased the thoroughly demolished [[Relics of Fail|Relic of Fail]] at the very end of the video.


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
<center><gallery>
Image:Jerkhieg.png|Official Chris-approved game sprite from [[JK Productions]].
Image:Jerkhieg.png|Official Chris-approved game sprite from [[JK Productions]].
Image:Jerkhief my soul hurts.jpg|You certainly aren't alone, Jerkhief.</gallery></center>
Image:Jerkhief my soul hurts.jpg|You certainly aren't alone, Jerkhief.
Image:Chris-Dog-Pile.jpg|Dogpile!
</gallery></center>


==See also:==
==See also:==
{{Fan art}}
{{Fan art}}
*[[Jerkops]]
*[[Jerkop|Jerkops]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Bagget]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Niggos]]
*[[Virginia is for Virgins]]
*[[Virginia is for Virgins]]


{{people}}
{{Sonichu}}
{{Sonichu}}


[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Villains]]
[[Category:Things Chris hates]]

Latest revision as of 10:38, 21 February 2022

His wooden badge looks delicious.

Jerkhief (pronounced [ˈdʒɝ.kiːf] "jur-keef"[1]) is the black leader of the Jerkops known best for uttering nonsensical phrases such as "My wooden badge was delicious!" or "MY SOUL HURTS!" in Sonichu #4. Jerkhief is based on a real-life mall security guard who chased Chris out of the mall for having his Attraction Sign on full display and apparently creeping out the people in front of GameStop. Chris has put Jerkhief's weight at three-quarters of a ton, failing to understand that someone that obese would barely be able to move.

In Sub-Episode 1, Jerkhief interrupted CWC's Love Quest and told him to stop soliciting like any sane person would. Chris was adamant about his quest and refused to leave. So, he beat up a bunch of Jerkops, but then Jerkhief activated his mecha battle armor. Unfortunately, he could not overcome the power of Chris-chan Sonichu. This whole "Jerkop-Tastropie" took place in CWCville Shopping Center.

As Chris has noted, the character design for B-Manajerk gives him a face quite similar to Jerkhief.

"My wooden badge was delicious!"

The famous quote in question.

This quote, seen on the cover of Sonichu Issue #4, is an infamous case of Random-access humor that has utterly baffled readers of the webcomic. Eventually, someone was courageous enough to ask Chris what the hell this line was about in an IRC chat and Chris explained its meaning:

the Jerkhief has a Badge made from TREE wood, painted to look like an "official" police badge, and the Jerkops under him have Badges made from Graham Crackers, painted to be the mockery badges as well. The Jerkhief portrayed on the cover took a bite out of his wooden badge, as if it was made from a Graham Cracker, and called it delicious like a Graham Cracker...which you would have learned that from the "Backyard Safari" Sub-Episode.

This is backed up by Sonichu Issue 4, pages 55-56. Even with the explanation, it is strange for Jerkhief to compare the taste of tree bark to a sweet treat.

When a troll recorded himself destroying the Sonichu Medallion, he recited the line for no apparent reason, but did so with a smug sense of satisfaction as he showcased the thoroughly demolished Relic of Fail at the very end of the video.

Gallery

See also:

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Jerkhief!
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