Difference between revisions of "Clyde Cash"
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''Although the troll behind Clyde played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. Clyde's other personas are discussed [[Clyde Cash#Other Aliases|towards the end of the article]].'' | |||
{{Honest}} | |||
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}} | |||
{{Unreliable|type=sock}} | |||
{{Troll|He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Bryan Bash]], [[Mao Ling]], and [[Shigeru Miyamoto]].}} | |||
{{quote|No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants.|Clyde to Chris when introducing him to the Miscreants.<ref name = miscreants>[[Mumble 9]]</ref>}} | |||
{{quote|Yer [[Butt garments|butt]]'s gonna be [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|in trouble]].|[[Barbara Chandler]] to Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}} | |||
{{Infobox Person | |||
| title = Clyde Cash | |||
| name = Clyde Cash | |||
| image = TheRealClydeCash.jpg|imagesize=250px | |||
| nationality = [[United States|American]]<ref name=personal/> | |||
| aliases = Gregg Mays<br> [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] <br> TheGreggMays<br> Mr. Sin Dinero<ref>[[Secret Weapon]]</ref><br> Mr. Clyde<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref><br> Clyde No-cash<ref name = trollsta>[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]</ref><br> Starscream troll<ref name = starscream>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life]]</ref> | |||
| day = 4 | |||
| month = 7 | |||
| year = 1976 | |||
| birthsrc = <ref name=license/> | |||
| gender = [[MALE]] | |||
|nationality = [[United States|American]] | |||
|race = Half-Asian<ref>[[Mumble 2]]</ref> | |||
|spouse = [[PandaHalo]] | |||
|knownfor = {{•}} Raping Pandahalo, and being happily married to her<br>{{•}} Creating a forum full of fake female Sonichu fans<br>{{•}} Being the leader of the Miscreants<br>{{•}} Plotting to send hookers to Chris's house after Emily gets stolen by a man in a pickle suit<br>{{•}} Faking his death, and then returning to hack into Chris's PSN account. | |||
|children = Penny Cash<ref name = penny>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref> | |||
|siblings = Ryan Cash (brother) | |||
|relatives = [[Vivian Gee]] (cousin) | |||
|occupation = Musician<br>{{TrollOccupation}} | |||
|organization = The Miscreants (founder, former leader) | |||
|saga = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|panda|cn}}, {{saga|miyamoto|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|ps3|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|tito|cn}}, {{saga|jackie|cn}} | |||
}} | |||
= | '''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' – that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref name=license>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) was the ringleader of [[The Miscreants]] and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that people like the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival. Clyde, in turn, played up being a {{w|Heel (professional wrestling)|heel}} to Chris, presenting himself as a comically diabolical mastermind conspiring to inconvenience Chris wherever possible. | ||
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, and his own approach to trolling as playing the role of the mustache-twirling, frat bro fiend, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite Chris in the ass, such as [[Chris's resume|his unwillingness to work]], [[Financhu Crisis|his bad spending and saving habits]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|his delusional thoughts]] and [[Women's rights|his poor treatment of women]]. Clyde [[IRC (20 January 2009)|also successfully surmised that]] Chris had an innate desire to [[Tomgirl Pictures|dress like a woman]] [[Transgender|because he wanted to become one himself]]. Not all of Clyde's trolling was malicious, however; he also attempted to try to use his trolling attempts to get Chris to understand some unpleasant truths to help him understand the error of his ways, similarly to his [[Vivian Gee]] persona, but to no avail. | |||
Multiple trolls (usually [[Weening|weens]]) utilized the alias of Clyde Cash during the "Classic Era" of Christory, but the original found the most success in getting under Chris's skin. As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time prior to the disbanding of the Miscreants. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of [[Bob Chandler]], with no clear word about where the original troll went. | |||
__TOC__ | |||
{{clear}} | |||
<!--==Timeline==--> | |||
==Prologue== | |||
The Clyde Cash saga is often considered one of the most memorable to observers. This is in part due to the sheer amount of activity from the troll, and all of the ways that Chris reacted to Clyde's efforts. The Clyde Cash saga included Chris wishing physical harm on Clyde, several videos showing repeated attempts to blackmail him, a video where he compares his strength to the Twin Towers, videos involving the abuse of a clown doll, a video where Chris dons orange-brown face paint to impersonate his nemesis, the formation of a group whose sole purpose was to prevent Chris from getting a sweetheart, the stealing of several of Chris's potential sweethearts, and a few comic appearances as a chrome-domed villain with a jetpack. | |||
===Pre-Trolling Life=== | |||
Chris, | According to an obituary detailing his supposed death, before becoming the guido nemesis of Chris, Clyde was a famed musician, creating music for his brother Ryan following his death. Clyde had also been known for many years to adopt children and raise them, especially when adoption rates were low.<ref name = obituary>[[:File:Clyde Cash obituary.png]]</ref> | ||
Chris | ===Ryan's Death=== | ||
{{Misinfo|Ryan Cash was not a real person. He was created to manipulate Chris.}} | |||
[[Image:Ryan.jpg|thumb|200px|A brother swears vengeance.]] | |||
{{see also|CWC Update 28 December 2008}} | |||
'''Ryan Cash''' was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, withholding [[Sonichu 7]], in protest of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He left the following note before killing himself: | |||
<br> | |||
{{quote|Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. [[Sonichu]] was my hero and without anymore [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid [[video game]] and [[Chris and his ego|not care about anything but himself]]! He's such a [[jerk]]! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash.|A sad final farewell.}} | |||
Clyde, | Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his [[naïve]] understanding of [[Chris and death|the concept of death]], [[CWC Update 28 December 2008|his response to the news]] came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that [[Chris and his ego|he enjoyed having enough influence over someone]] that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action. | ||
Clyde | ==Trolling== | ||
{{Misinfo|The Clyde persona most associated with Christory was not played by multiple people. It was played by the same person who played Vivian Gee, Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aime, Bryan Bash, Mao Ling, and many other personas. Several weens had ended up using Clyde's likeness to imitate him during the "Classic" era.}} | |||
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|200px|An artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]] | |||
Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde achieved notoriety for his various trolling plans against Chris. | |||
== | ===Rape of PandaHalo=== | ||
{{main|PandaHalo}} | |||
The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current [[sweetheart]], [[PandaHalo]].<ref name = rape>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Panda announced this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and told him that she was pregnant. In response, Clyde repeatedly called her a "liar."<ref name = rape/> Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and proposed that Panda get an abortion. Ultimately, Chris was unaffected by all of this and simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref name = penny/> | |||
== | ===Sonichu Girls=== | ||
{{Main|Sonichu Girls}} | |||
= | Clyde also created a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as '''Sonichu Girls'''.<ref name = sonichugirls>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100425184455/http://sonichugirls.yuku.com/topic/120/t/I-Clyde-Cash-have-revealed-the-truth-behind-SonichuGirls.html Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls]</ref> This group was co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group was primarily made up of troll personas that were later used to catfish Chris, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum was later repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from [[the Miscreants]]. | ||
==="Julie"=== | |||
Clyde once again baited and threatened Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of [[BlueSpike]]. Bluespike had set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[TRUE and HONEST]] ''Sonichu'' fans. He also operated under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of [[Molvania]], luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening Julie with the Max character. | |||
Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]] or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|he admits that he's gay]], leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike. | |||
[[File:ThePatriots1.png|thumb|The Patriots from ''[[Metal Gear|Metal Gear Solid 2]]'', an inspiration for personas created by the trolls that called themselves the Miscreants.]] | |||
Clyde later acted as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who trolled Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following [[Bob]]'s death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.<ref name = miscreants/> Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they also claimed to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a [[Pickle|pickled cucumber]] would [[Emily|steal one of his sweethearts]].<ref>[[:File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg]]</ref> | |||
When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde later claimed on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responded that he would [[Ohio Trip|make his way to Ohio]] to save her.<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009]]</ref> Of course, this effort proved fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady. | |||
After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike prompted Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his [[medallion]] up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref> This prompted Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".<ref name = starscream/> This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde had killed [[BlueSpike]] after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref> | |||
===Church Audio and The Hooker Incident=== | |||
During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> From this, both MIPS and Robert discovered several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] had encouraged him to continue reading [[How to Talk to Girls]]. | |||
Chris later went on a date with [[Emily]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she would live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publicly declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Clyde later claimed responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref> | |||
===Harassment of Ivy=== | |||
When [[Ivy]] came along, Clyde decided to continually harass her. He leaked information regarding her, which provoked Chris to threaten him. Despite this, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref> | |||
[[File:RIPClyde.jpg|thumb|left|140px|''"I don't have the time or the luxury to cry and mourn... either way, I have to [[Chris's room|go upstairs]] and troll '''CHRIS'''...!"'']] | |||
===PSN Hacking=== | |||
On 22 [[May 2009]], Clyde faked his death by self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. This was later reported by [[The Miscreants]].<ref name = obituary/> After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance a week later. Chris wasn't very pleased, as he had discovered that Clyde had made two purchases totalling at $15.98 after hacking into his PSN account. <ref name = vivg>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#29 May]]</ref> Chris attempted to contact [[Vivian Gee]] in order for her to pay back these transactions, but she claimed that she couldn't afford it.<ref name = vivg/> Ironically, a [[Jack Thaddeus|new foe]] would outperform Clyde in hacking into the account. By this point, Clyde was relatively dormant, and less active with Chris, only popping up occasionally. Despite this, Chris continually challenged Clyde to face him, and often blamed him for many of the misfortunes that followed. | |||
=== The Return === | |||
In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]]. | |||
However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref name = negotiate>[[Mailbag 5#In which Chris assumes Clyde Cash would punch him|Mailbag 5]]</ref> | |||
Despite Clyde's inactivity, he remained a common scapegoat of Chris's. For example, Chris directed blame at Clyde in December of that year when he discovered an interactive billboard that used a photoshopped image of him at a gay bar.<ref>[[20 December 2009]]</ref> Chris however later outed [[Thorg]] for this endeavor during the [[Calling Out]] saga.<ref>[[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]</ref> | |||
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]]. | |||
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==Chris fights back== | |||
At this point Clyde had raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and has been a general nuisance to Chris; Chris tried to fight back against Clyde every time Clyde intruded into his life. | |||
===Threatening Violence=== | |||
[[File:Tard Rage.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris preparing for a throttling toward Clyde.]] | |||
[[File:ClydeChoke.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris strangling that Clyde Cash!]] | |||
{{quote|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!|Chris [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|threatening]] Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}} | |||
[[Image:Clown_Doll_2.jpg|thumb|A makeshift voodoo doll made by Chris out of the clown doll.]] | |||
Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde was the subject of many threats of violence and [[death threats]] from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde; Chris was explicit about his desire to murder the troll. Chris stated a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Thankfully, Chris's threats to carry out these heinous acts never escalated to actual attempts. | |||
Chris made use of an old [[Clown Doll]], treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris filmed himself beating up the doll repeatedly, occasionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He attempted to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. <ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref> | |||
Upon Clyde's return, Chris declared that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde]]</ref> Chris also tried to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to himself in several videos; in one instance claiming that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]. Chris called Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year after the fact in a [[Don't Mess With Me|YouTube video]] when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the [[Wallflower]] leaving him. In that video, Chris pretended to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him. | |||
===Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing=== | |||
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|right|SPOILER: It's not really Clyde.]] | |||
Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris also attempted to fight Clyde by threatening that he would uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had attempted several times after Clyde's return. | |||
In the video "[[Secret Weapon]]", Chris claimed to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lee-hotti-and-friends Lee Hotti] given to him by the troll [[lordsillynipples]]. Chris used the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|first instance of which]] he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref> A former troll-turned-white-knight informed him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal]]</ref> Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and the image soon became a primary representation associated with the troll. | |||
In another video, Chris once again claimed that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. In the video, Chris claimed that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.<ref>[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still threatened Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris previously claimed that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocked Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song <i>Gangsta's Paradise</i>.<ref name = trollsta/> | |||
Sometime before 25 [[October 2009]],<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris hinted at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris threatened to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,<ref name = clydegreg>[[To Clyde Gregg]]</ref> while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".<ref name = clydegreg/><ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> In one particular video trolls persuaded him to make,<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Troll-Scripted Content]]</ref> Chris attempted to humiliate both Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]], calling both of them weak by having this image [[Twin Falling Towers|take the place of the Twin Towers]]. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref> | |||
===Negotiation=== | |||
Chris has stated in a few instances that he was willing to sit down and talk with Clyde cooperatively, but only if he chooses to stop harassing him, and declares Sonichu as his own work. | |||
{{quote|I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first.|<ref name = negotiate/>}} | |||
===Calling Out and Insults=== | |||
{{quote|Hey, at least my head's not fucking orange. Like a certain...cashy type person I know.|Chris randomly calling out Clyde Cash in a video where he mimes making spaghetti.<ref name = "spaghetti">[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref>}} | |||
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]] | |||
Chris also called Clyde out on the various trolling plans that he had for him. | |||
In other instances, Chris resorted to insulting his enemy by mocking his apperance. One example of this is in a video where he paints his face orage, attempts to copy Clyde's stylistic hairstyle, and his mannerisms.<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref> In that video he called Clyde out all of the harm he has done on him, including the rape of [[PandaHalo]], and the supposed spreading of rumors to defame Chris. Another example is in a video where Chris is asked by [[Jackie]] to cook spaghetti in a video. Towards the end of the video, he clearly has made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs, which he then proceeds to stick his face into, giving his face an orange-ish color. Chris remarks on this by mocking Clyde's apperance, saying how his face isn't "fuck'n orange".<ref name = "spaghetti"/> | |||
==In the comic== | |||
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|200px|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]] | |||
Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before [[Secret Weapon|Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance]], Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance, or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll. | |||
Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]). He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for [[Nazis|Adolf Hitler]]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative. | |||
==Retirement== | |||
[[File:Commissions H.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Peace in our time.]] | |||
The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired from his trolling career and moved back to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen on the internet, or at least Chris's corner of it, since then. | |||
Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a [[Commissions|commission]], albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic. | |||
In the September 2020 [[Discord Q&A 4]], Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?]]</ref> | |||
==Other Aliases== | |||
<!---Editor's Note: This section is primarily meant to provide background for other conflicts involving Clyde, as many of them involved the following personas. As the article is primarily about the Clyde character, the other personas should not get more than a paragraph or two on this article.---> | |||
The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other aliases, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also involved these other personas. | |||
===Vivian Gee=== | |||
{{Main|Vivian Gee}} | |||
'''Vivian Gee''', a fictional cousin of Clyde, was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Vivian Was Clyde]]</ref><ref name = sonichugirls/><ref group = note>When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.</ref> even predating the Clyde persona itself.<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Clyde History]]</ref> Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, in which she e-mailed him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref> Following from that, Vivian tried to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his [[medallion]]. | |||
Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she wrote a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping that this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian took his place as the leader of the Miscreants. When the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona left along with it. | |||
Vivian was also the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris issued to Clyde. | |||
===Bryan Bash=== | |||
{{Main|Bryan Bash}} | |||
'''Bryan Bash''' was a good friend of Clyde's and was an agent of the Miscreants. He sent several hookers following a date with Emily gone wrong, part of an attempt from Clyde to help Chris. Bryan also provided leaks of calls, videos, chats, and drawings that Chris had made to the Miscreants. | |||
===Gregg Mays=== | |||
{{See also|Gregg Mays E-mails}} | |||
"'''Gregg Mays'''" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]</ref> The Gregg Mays character was part of a plan to hack into [[sonichu.net]], having promised Chris that the website would be redesigned to promote Sonichu for [[Animal Crossing]]. Gregg asked Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris promptly gave him. Gregg then hacked into the website. Gregg then told Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight in exchange for regaining control of the website.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009]]</ref> | |||
Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|message]] to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009]]</ref> Chris also came to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.<ref>[[10242009]]</ref> Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff. | |||
===Other Nintendo Staff=== | |||
{{Main|Shigeru Miyamoto|Reggie Fils-Aimé|Takashi Tezuka|Jay Z}} | |||
The troll behind Clyde also roleplayed as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were '''Shigeru Miyamoto''', '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''', '''Takashi Tezuka''', and '''James Zylberstein'''. | |||
It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. <ref>[[Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond]]</ref><ref group = note>When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen [https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Miyamoto_emails&diff=39023&oldid=39022 here].</ref> Shigeru engaged with Chris in [[Miyamoto E-mails|a series of emails]], discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform. | |||
===Mao Ling=== | |||
{{main|Mao Ling}} | |||
'''Mao "Bamboo" Ling''' was the founder of Asperpedia, as well as one of the Asperpedia Four. | |||
==Fan art== | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
File:ClydeCashSonichu.jpg|Clyde Cash Sonichu | |||
File:Cash1.png|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash! | |||
Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|Clyde's butt being in trouble]], [[Chris-chan Discusses...|courtesy of Chris]]. | |||
Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]]. | |||
Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments. | |||
File:Clyde cash-min.jpg|TSSSF card created for Clyde | |||
File:ClydeChad.png|Clyde Chad | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
{{Fan art}} | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==Fan videos== | |||
{{Infobox/Fanvideo | |||
| name = Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash. | |||
| video = {{#ev:youtube|ajX95RLV3cI}} | |||
| stardate = 12 [[October 2009]] | |||
| maker = GUInterface | |||
| subject = Clyde Cash | |||
| type = Edited game cutscene | |||
| info = Clyde Cash's demise. | |||
}} | |||
{{Infobox/Fanvideo | |||
| name = Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut) | |||
| video = {{#ev:youtube|52xWbxgYECI}} | |||
| stardate = 13 July 2021 | |||
| maker = Kenny Blades | |||
| subject = Clyde Cash | |||
| type = Rap dedicated to Clyde | |||
}} | |||
==See also== | |||
*[[A CWC Audition]] | |||
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]] | |||
{{Notes}} | |||
{{References}} | |||
==External links== | |||
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account] | |||
*[https://archive.org/details/CWC-emily-date-aftermath Post-date Conversations] – The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35. | |||
{{ClydeCashSaga}} | |||
{{PandaSaga}} | |||
{{MiyamotoSaga}} | |||
{{JulieSaga}} | |||
{{PS3Saga}} | |||
{{EmilySaga}} | |||
{{IvySaga}} | |||
{{Trolls}} | {{Trolls}} | ||
{{people}} | |||
{{articleofthenow}} | |||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
[[Category:Trolls]] | [[Category:Trolls]] | ||
[[Category: | [[Category:Miscreants Members]] | ||
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]] |
Latest revision as of 03:59, 14 August 2024
Although the troll behind Clyde played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. Clyde's other personas are discussed towards the end of the article.
This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
|
Note on Misinformation:
This article previously included information that was primarily speculative or incorrect. This is being fixed. For more information see here. |
Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris. He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, Vivian Gee, Bryan Bash, Mao Ling, and Shigeru Miyamoto. Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.) |
“ | No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants. | ” |
Clyde to Chris when introducing him to the Miscreants.[1] |
“ | Yer butt's gonna be in trouble. | ” |
Barbara Chandler to Clyde Cash[2] |
Clyde Cash | |
---|---|
Information | |
Name | Clyde Cash |
Date of birth | [3] | July 4, 1976
Also known as | Gregg Mays Clydec TheGreggMays Mr. Sin Dinero[4] Mr. Clyde[5] Clyde No-cash[6] Starscream troll[7] |
Gender | MALE |
Known for | • Raping Pandahalo, and being happily married to her • Creating a forum full of fake female Sonichu fans • Being the leader of the Miscreants • Plotting to send hookers to Chris's house after Emily gets stolen by a man in a pickle suit • Faking his death, and then returning to hack into Chris's PSN account. |
Race | Half-Asian[8] |
Nationality | American |
Occupation | Musician Internet Troll |
Organization | The Miscreants (founder, former leader) |
Spouse | PandaHalo |
Children | Penny Cash[9] |
Siblings | Ryan Cash (brother) |
Other relatives | Vivian Gee (cousin) |
Saga | Clyde Cash, PandaHalo, Miyamoto, Julie, PSN Hacking, Emily, Ivy, Tito, Jackie |
Clyde Cash (alias Gregg Mays – that's Gregg with three G's) (4 July 1976[3]) was the ringleader of The Miscreants and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that people like the Idea Guys and Jacob Sockness have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival. Clyde, in turn, played up being a heel to Chris, presenting himself as a comically diabolical mastermind conspiring to inconvenience Chris wherever possible.
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, and his own approach to trolling as playing the role of the mustache-twirling, frat bro fiend, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite Chris in the ass, such as his unwillingness to work, his bad spending and saving habits, his delusional thoughts and his poor treatment of women. Clyde also successfully surmised that Chris had an innate desire to dress like a woman because he wanted to become one himself. Not all of Clyde's trolling was malicious, however; he also attempted to try to use his trolling attempts to get Chris to understand some unpleasant truths to help him understand the error of his ways, similarly to his Vivian Gee persona, but to no avail.
Multiple trolls (usually weens) utilized the alias of Clyde Cash during the "Classic Era" of Christory, but the original found the most success in getting under Chris's skin. As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time prior to the disbanding of the Miscreants. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of Bob Chandler, with no clear word about where the original troll went.
Prologue
The Clyde Cash saga is often considered one of the most memorable to observers. This is in part due to the sheer amount of activity from the troll, and all of the ways that Chris reacted to Clyde's efforts. The Clyde Cash saga included Chris wishing physical harm on Clyde, several videos showing repeated attempts to blackmail him, a video where he compares his strength to the Twin Towers, videos involving the abuse of a clown doll, a video where Chris dons orange-brown face paint to impersonate his nemesis, the formation of a group whose sole purpose was to prevent Chris from getting a sweetheart, the stealing of several of Chris's potential sweethearts, and a few comic appearances as a chrome-domed villain with a jetpack.
Pre-Trolling Life
According to an obituary detailing his supposed death, before becoming the guido nemesis of Chris, Clyde was a famed musician, creating music for his brother Ryan following his death. Clyde had also been known for many years to adopt children and raise them, especially when adoption rates were low.[10]
Ryan's Death
NOTE:
Ryan Cash was not a real person. He was created to manipulate Chris.
|
Ryan Cash was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, withholding Sonichu 7, in protest of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page. He left the following note before killing himself:
“ | Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. Sonichu was my hero and without anymore comics i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid video game and not care about anything but himself! He's such a jerk! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash. | ” |
A sad final farewell. |
Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his naïve understanding of the concept of death, his response to the news came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that he enjoyed having enough influence over someone that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action.
Trolling
Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde achieved notoriety for his various trolling plans against Chris.
Rape of PandaHalo
- Main article: PandaHalo
The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current sweetheart, PandaHalo.[11] Panda announced this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and told him that she was pregnant. In response, Clyde repeatedly called her a "liar."[11] Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and proposed that Panda get an abortion. Ultimately, Chris was unaffected by all of this and simply moved onto the next gal-pal. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.[9]
Sonichu Girls
- Main article: Sonichu Girls
Clyde also created a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as Sonichu Girls.[12] This group was co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,[13] and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group was primarily made up of troll personas that were later used to catfish Chris, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum was later repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from the Miscreants.
"Julie"
Clyde once again baited and threatened Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of BlueSpike. Bluespike had set up a Mumble chat in which Chris could communicate with TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fans. He also operated under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of Molvania, luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening Julie with the Max character.
Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as cleaning his room or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless he admits that he's gay, leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike.
Clyde later acted as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who trolled Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following Bob's death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.[1] Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they also claimed to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a pickled cucumber would steal one of his sweethearts.[14]
When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde later claimed on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responded that he would make his way to Ohio to save her.[15] Of course, this effort proved fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady.
After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike prompted Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his medallion up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".[16] This prompted Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".[7] This is a reference to the Transformers character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this because he believes Clyde had killed BlueSpike after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.[17]
Church Audio and The Hooker Incident
During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted Man in the Pickle Suit to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned Robert Simmons V into a troll and infiltrated Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.[18] From this, both MIPS and Robert discovered several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that Rocky Shoemaker had encouraged him to continue reading How to Talk to Girls.
Chris later went on a date with Emily at the Charlottesville Fashion Square. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she would live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publicly declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.[19] Clyde later claimed responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.[20]
Harassment of Ivy
When Ivy came along, Clyde decided to continually harass her. He leaked information regarding her, which provoked Chris to threaten him. Despite this, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.[21]
PSN Hacking
On 22 May 2009, Clyde faked his death by self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. This was later reported by The Miscreants.[10] After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance a week later. Chris wasn't very pleased, as he had discovered that Clyde had made two purchases totalling at $15.98 after hacking into his PSN account. [22] Chris attempted to contact Vivian Gee in order for her to pay back these transactions, but she claimed that she couldn't afford it.[22] Ironically, a new foe would outperform Clyde in hacking into the account. By this point, Clyde was relatively dormant, and less active with Chris, only popping up occasionally. Despite this, Chris continually challenged Clyde to face him, and often blamed him for many of the misfortunes that followed.
The Return
In late 2009, when not battling Liquid Chris for the hand of Kacey, Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into shape and a desire to frighten Clyde with his bulging muscles.
However, because of the negative reaction to Sonichu Special #4, Chris, in the CWCipedia mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.[23]
Despite Clyde's inactivity, he remained a common scapegoat of Chris's. For example, Chris directed blame at Clyde in December of that year when he discovered an interactive billboard that used a photoshopped image of him at a gay bar.[24] Chris however later outed Thorg for this endeavor during the Calling Out saga.[25]
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in 2010, believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "The Wallflower". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully attempted to scam Clyde into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own PS3. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to Surfshack Tito's vigilance.
Chris fights back
At this point Clyde had raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and has been a general nuisance to Chris; Chris tried to fight back against Clyde every time Clyde intruded into his life.
Threatening Violence
“ | EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT! | ” |
Chris threatening Clyde Cash[26] |
Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde was the subject of many threats of violence and death threats from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde; Chris was explicit about his desire to murder the troll. Chris stated a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Thankfully, Chris's threats to carry out these heinous acts never escalated to actual attempts.
Chris made use of an old Clown Doll, treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris filmed himself beating up the doll repeatedly, occasionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He attempted to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. [27]
Upon Clyde's return, Chris declared that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.[28] Chris also tried to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to himself in several videos; in one instance claiming that Clyde is Weaker than Water. Chris called Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year after the fact in a YouTube video when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the Wallflower leaving him. In that video, Chris pretended to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him.
Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing
Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris also attempted to fight Clyde by threatening that he would uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had attempted several times after Clyde's return.
In the video "Secret Weapon", Chris claimed to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of Lee Hotti given to him by the troll lordsillynipples. Chris used the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the first instance of which he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.[29] A former troll-turned-white-knight informed him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.[30] Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and the image soon became a primary representation associated with the troll.
In another video, Chris once again claimed that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. In the video, Chris claimed that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.[31] Despite this, Chris still threatened Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris previously claimed that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocked Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song Gangsta's Paradise.[6]
Sometime before 25 October 2009,[32] Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris hinted at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris threatened to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,[33] while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".[33][34] In one particular video trolls persuaded him to make,[35] Chris attempted to humiliate both Clyde and Jack Thaddeus, calling both of them weak by having this image take the place of the Twin Towers. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.[36]
Negotiation
Chris has stated in a few instances that he was willing to sit down and talk with Clyde cooperatively, but only if he chooses to stop harassing him, and declares Sonichu as his own work.
“ | I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first. | ” |
[23] |
Calling Out and Insults
“ | Hey, at least my head's not fucking orange. Like a certain...cashy type person I know. | ” |
Chris randomly calling out Clyde Cash in a video where he mimes making spaghetti.[37] |
Chris also called Clyde out on the various trolling plans that he had for him.
In other instances, Chris resorted to insulting his enemy by mocking his apperance. One example of this is in a video where he paints his face orage, attempts to copy Clyde's stylistic hairstyle, and his mannerisms.[38] In that video he called Clyde out all of the harm he has done on him, including the rape of PandaHalo, and the supposed spreading of rumors to defame Chris. Another example is in a video where Chris is asked by Jackie to cook spaghetti in a video. Towards the end of the video, he clearly has made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs, which he then proceeds to stick his face into, giving his face an orange-ish color. Chris remarks on this by mocking Clyde's apperance, saying how his face isn't "fuck'n orange".[37]
In the comic
Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the comic is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for Mary Lee Walsh. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance, Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance, or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll.
Apart from capturing Ivy and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero, officially Sonichu Special #1. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent The Man in the Pickle Suit). He made his first appearance in the comic proper Sonichu #10 as the 4-cent_garbage.com building is collapsing. When Jason Kendrick Howell escapes, he condemns Clyde and Jack Thaddeus for being homo trolls. When Beel escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative.
Retirement
The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for Alex's Lemonade Stand, where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of his father, as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired from his trolling career and moved back to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen on the internet, or at least Chris's corner of it, since then.
Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a commission, albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic.
In the September 2020 Discord Q&A 4, Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).[39]
Other Aliases
The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other aliases, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also involved these other personas.
Vivian Gee
- Main article: Vivian Gee
Vivian Gee, a fictional cousin of Clyde, was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,[40][12][note 1] even predating the Clyde persona itself.[41] Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, in which she e-mailed him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.[42] Following from that, Vivian tried to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his medallion.
Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she wrote a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping that this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian took his place as the leader of the Miscreants. When the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona left along with it.
Vivian was also the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris issued to Clyde.
Bryan Bash
- Main article: Bryan Bash
Bryan Bash was a good friend of Clyde's and was an agent of the Miscreants. He sent several hookers following a date with Emily gone wrong, part of an attempt from Clyde to help Chris. Bryan also provided leaks of calls, videos, chats, and drawings that Chris had made to the Miscreants.
Gregg Mays
"Gregg Mays" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.[43] The Gregg Mays character was part of a plan to hack into sonichu.net, having promised Chris that the website would be redesigned to promote Sonichu for Animal Crossing. Gregg asked Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris promptly gave him. Gregg then hacked into the website. Gregg then told Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight in exchange for regaining control of the website.[44]
Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not Jason Kendrick Howell, Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a message to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.[45] Chris also came to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.[46] Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff.
Other Nintendo Staff
- Main articles: Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and Jay Z
The troll behind Clyde also roleplayed as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and James Zylberstein.
It was around this time that Takashi Tezuka and Jay Z were doing their Animal Crossing game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as Shigeru Miyamoto to destroy any chance of the project. [47][note 2] Shigeru engaged with Chris in a series of emails, discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform.
Mao Ling
- Main article: Mao Ling
Mao "Bamboo" Ling was the founder of Asperpedia, as well as one of the Asperpedia Four.
Fan art
Fan videos
Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash. | |
Stardate | 12 October 2009 |
Made By | GUInterface |
Subject Matter | Clyde Cash |
Video Type | Edited game cutscene |
Other Info | Clyde Cash's demise. |
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos |
Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut) | |
Stardate | 13 July 2021 |
Made By | Kenny Blades |
Subject Matter | Clyde Cash |
Video Type | Rap dedicated to Clyde |
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos |
See also
Notes
- ↑ When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.
- ↑ When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen here.
References
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Mumble 9
- ↑ The Hooker Incident
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg
- ↑ Secret Weapon
- ↑ Chris Calls Clyde Out
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life
- ↑ Mumble 2
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 Jackie Chat 7
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 File:Clyde Cash obituary.png
- ↑ 11.0 11.1 IRC (21 January 2009)
- ↑ 12.0 12.1 Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls
- ↑ IRC (20 January 2009)
- ↑ File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg
- ↑ Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009
- ↑ Julie Reveals Herself
- ↑ Mumble 12
- ↑ Church Audio
- ↑ Emily Date Conversation Transcript
- ↑ Hooker incident
- ↑ CWC "Boyfriend"
- ↑ 22.0 22.1 Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#29 May
- ↑ 23.0 23.1 Mailbag 5
- ↑ 20 December 2009
- ↑ Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
- ↑ CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009
- ↑ Sign Destruction Video
- ↑ Challenge for Clyde
- ↑ Take that Page DOWN NOW!
- ↑ White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal
- ↑ Clyde Cash the kid video
- ↑ Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009
- ↑ 33.0 33.1 To Clyde Gregg
- ↑ Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009
- ↑ Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Troll-Scripted Content
- ↑ ClydeGoingOnGregg1, Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!, Clyde is Weaker than Water, Getting Foam Ed, Twin Falling Towers, It will never end, Apology for 9/11 Joke
- ↑ 37.0 37.1 SpaghettiRoutine
- ↑ 100 2267
- ↑ Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?
- ↑ CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Vivian Was Clyde
- ↑ CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Clyde History
- ↑ Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008
- ↑ Gregg Mays E-mails
- ↑ Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009
- ↑ Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009
- ↑ 10242009
- ↑ Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond
External links
- Gregg's YouTube account
- Post-date Conversations – The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.
Clyde Cash Saga | ||||
Organizations: Sonichu Girls | ||||
Chris vs. Clyde: | Clyde's Return: | Spider-Man Blackmail: | Vivian Gee: | |
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PandaHalo Saga | ||
The Players: | The IRC Chats: | The Videos: |
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Coinciding Sagas: Blanca, Clyde Cash, Julie |
Miyamoto Saga | ||
People: Chris • Gregg Mays (Jason Kendrick Howell • Clyde Cash) • Shigeru Miyamoto • Reggie Fils-Aimé • Takashi Tezuka • Jay Z | ||
Gregg Mays: | Nintendo: | |
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Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, |
Julie Saga | ||||||
Organizations: The Miscreants | ||||||
Julie's Introduction: | Sarah May: | Chris vs. Clyde: | Sex Leaks: | The Miscreants: | The Reveal: | The Aftermath: |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| ||||||
PS3 Hacking Saga | ||
People: Chris (JenkinsJinkies • Bill Riley) • Clyde Cash • Jack Thaddeus • Surfshack Tito • BlueSpike • Samantha Thaddeus • Katie Bay • Liquid Chris • PandaHalo | ||
The Games: | The Prizes: | |
---|---|---|
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie, |
Emily Saga | ||||||
People: Chris • LoveYouLongTime (Emily • Kim Wilson • Unknown Gal-pals) • Bob Chandler • Man in the Pickle Suit • Magical Man • Clyde Cash • Faeryn • Robert Simmons V • Bryan Bash | ||||||
LoveYouLongTime: | Emily: | Kim: | ||||
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Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Liquid |
Ivy Saga | ||
The Players: | The Games: | The Prizes: |
---|---|---|
Coinciding Sagas: Vanessa, Clyde Cash |
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