Difference between revisions of "Clyde Cash"

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[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|Artist's interpretation of the epic struggle.]]
''Although the troll behind Clyde played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. Clyde's other personas are discussed [[Clyde Cash#Other Aliases|towards the end of the article]].''
[[Image:TheRealClydeCash.jpg|thumb|right|The real Clyde Cash, according to Chris.]]


{{quote|'''"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, Sweet Prince.''' '''And may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."'''|Horatio}}
{{Honest}}
{{Unreliable|type=misinfo}}
{{Unreliable|type=sock}}
{{Troll|He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, [[Vivian Gee]], [[Bryan Bash]], [[Mao Ling]], and [[Shigeru Miyamoto]].}}
{{quote|No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants.|Clyde to Chris when introducing him to the Miscreants.<ref name = miscreants>[[Mumble 9]]</ref>}}
{{quote|Yer [[Butt garments|butt]]'s gonna be [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|in trouble]].|[[Barbara Chandler]] to Clyde Cash<ref>[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|The Hooker Incident]]</ref>}}


{{quote|Yer butt's gonna be in trouble|[[Barbara Chandler]] on Clyde Cash}}
{{Infobox Person
{{quote|I'LL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!|[[Chris]] on Clyde Cash}}
| title = Clyde Cash
{{quote|Then the dragon stood on the sand of the seashore. I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns, seven heads, and ten royal crowns on its horns. On its heads were blasphemous names.|The Bible on Clyde Cash}}
| name = Clyde Cash
| image = TheRealClydeCash.jpg|imagesize=250px
| nationality  = [[United States|American]]<ref name=personal/>
| aliases  = Gregg Mays<br> [[User:Clydec|Clydec]] <br> TheGreggMays<br> Mr. Sin Dinero<ref>[[Secret Weapon]]</ref><br> Mr. Clyde<ref>[[Chris Calls Clyde Out]]</ref><br> Clyde No-cash<ref name = trollsta>[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]</ref><br> Starscream troll<ref name = starscream>[[Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life]]</ref>
| day      = 4
| month    = 7
| year    = 1976
| birthsrc = <ref name=license/>
| gender    = [[MALE]]
|nationality = [[United States|American]]
|race  = Half-Asian<ref>[[Mumble 2]]</ref>
|spouse    = [[PandaHalo]]
|knownfor    = {{•}} Raping Pandahalo, and being happily married to her<br>{{•}} Creating a forum full of fake female Sonichu fans<br>{{•}} Being the leader of the Miscreants<br>{{•}} Plotting to send hookers to Chris's house after Emily gets stolen by a man in a pickle suit<br>{{•}} Faking his death, and then returning to hack into Chris's PSN account.
|children    = Penny Cash<ref name = penny>[[Jackie Chat 7]]</ref>
|siblings    = Ryan Cash (brother)
|relatives  = [[Vivian Gee]] (cousin)
|occupation  = Musician<br>{{TrollOccupation}}
|organization = The Miscreants (founder, former leader)
|saga  = {{saga|clyde|cn}}, {{saga|panda|cn}}, {{saga|miyamoto|cn}}, {{saga|julie|cn}}, {{saga|ps3|cn}}, {{saga|emily|cn}}, {{saga|ivy|cn}}, {{saga|tito|cn}}, {{saga|jackie|cn}}
}}


'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' - that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three g's]]) ([[Wikipedia:Born on the Fourth of July|04 July]] [[Wikipedia:1976|1976]] - 22 [[May 2009]]) was the older brother of [[Ryan Cash]] who decided to take vengeance against Chris after his brother killed himself. He was the former leader of [[The Miscreants]].  
'''Clyde Cash''' (alias '''Gregg Mays''' that's [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009|Gregg with three G's]]) ([[America|4 July]] [[1976]]<ref name=license>[[:File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg]]</ref>) was the ringleader of [[The Miscreants]] and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that people like the [[Idea Guys]] and [[Jacob Sockness]] have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival. Clyde, in turn, played up being a {{w|Heel (professional wrestling)|heel}} to Chris, presenting himself as a comically diabolical mastermind conspiring to inconvenience Chris wherever possible.


On 23 May 2009, Clyde was found lying in a pool of blood, dead from (possibly) committing suicide with a shotgun (though foul play has not yet been ruled out, due to Chris's recent death threats). He is survived by his cousin, [[Vivian Gee]].
Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, and his own approach to trolling as playing the role of the mustache-twirling, frat bro fiend, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite Chris in the ass, such as [[Chris's resume|his unwillingness to work]], [[Financhu Crisis|his bad spending and saving habits]], [[Julie Reveals Herself|his delusional thoughts]] and [[Women's rights|his poor treatment of women]]. Clyde [[IRC (20 January 2009)|also successfully surmised that]] Chris had an innate desire to [[Tomgirl Pictures|dress like a woman]] [[Transgender|because he wanted to become one himself]]. Not all of Clyde's trolling was malicious, however; he also attempted to try to use his trolling attempts to get Chris to understand some unpleasant truths to help him understand the error of his ways, similarly to his [[Vivian Gee]] persona, but to no avail.


Some folks say they see Clyde's and Ryan's spirit haunting the world together. The Miscreants are totally not keeping up appearances if you see Clyde anywhere...
Multiple trolls (usually [[Weening|weens]]) utilized the alias of Clyde Cash during the "Classic Era" of Christory, but the original found the most success in getting under Chris's skin. As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time prior to the disbanding of the Miscreants. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of [[Bob Chandler]], with no clear word about where the original troll went.


== Origins ==
__TOC__


His first act was to rape [[Panda]] but it did absolutely nothing to Chris as he simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]].
{{clear}}


Clyde stalked Julie and began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]]. In the end, it was revealed that Julie was a 13 year old boy and that Clyde had staged the whole thing.
<!--==Timeline==-->
==Prologue==
The Clyde Cash saga is often considered one of the most memorable to observers. This is in part due to the sheer amount of activity from the troll, and all of the ways that Chris reacted to Clyde's efforts. The Clyde Cash saga included Chris wishing physical harm on Clyde, several videos showing repeated attempts to blackmail him, a video where he compares his strength to the Twin Towers, videos involving the abuse of a clown doll, a video where Chris dons orange-brown face paint to impersonate his nemesis, the formation of a group whose sole purpose was to prevent Chris from getting a sweetheart, the stealing of several of Chris's potential sweethearts, and a few comic appearances as a chrome-domed villain with a jetpack.


== Clyde and Chris' website ==
===Pre-Trolling Life===


He posed as Gregg Mays (a web designer working for Nintendo) to gain access to Sonichu.net.
According to an obituary detailing his supposed death, before becoming the guido nemesis of Chris, Clyde was a famed musician, creating music for his brother Ryan following his death. Clyde had also been known for many years to adopt children and raise them, especially when adoption rates were low.<ref name = obituary>[[:File:Clyde Cash obituary.png]]</ref>


As ransom, he told Chris to make a video proclaiming he was gay only to be refuted. He then told him to make a [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009|video declaring his straightness]]. Eventually, Chris regained access to the site.
===Ryan's Death===
{{Misinfo|Ryan Cash was not a real person. He was created to manipulate Chris.}}
[[Image:Ryan.jpg|thumb|200px|A brother swears vengeance.]]
{{see also|CWC Update 28 December 2008}}


Striking again, Clyde worked with a troll and got rid of the domain.
'''Ryan Cash''' was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, withholding [[Sonichu 7]], in protest of the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page. He left the following note before killing himself:


Chris, being resilient, bought Sonichu.info. With the help of [[Panda]], he managed to gain access again.
<br>


Chris, still being resilient, bought SonichuandRosechu.com. With the help of [[Julie]], Clyde managed to gain access yet again.
{{quote|Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. [[Sonichu]] was my hero and without anymore [[Sonichu (comic)|comics]] i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid [[video game]] and [[Chris and his ego|not care about anything but himself]]! He's such a [[jerk]]! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash.|A sad final farewell.}}


== As Miyamoto ==
Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his [[naïve]] understanding of [[Chris and death|the concept of death]], [[CWC Update 28 December 2008|his response to the news]] came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that [[Chris and his ego|he enjoyed having enough influence over someone]] that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action.


:''Main article: [[Shigeru Miyamoto]]''
==Trolling==
{{Misinfo|The Clyde persona most associated with Christory was not played by multiple people. It was played by the same person who played Vivian Gee, Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aime, Bryan Bash, Mao Ling, and many other personas. Several weens had ended up using Clyde's likeness to imitate him during the "Classic" era.}}
[[Image:ChrisVSClyde.JPG|thumb|left|200px|An artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.]]


== Prostitutes ==
Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde achieved notoriety for his various trolling plans against Chris.


Clyde, wanting to help Chris with losing his virginity, had Miscreants agent Brian Bash call for prostitutes to be sent to Chris's house.
===Rape of PandaHalo===
{{main|PandaHalo}}


Clyde took the fall for it in this phone call, right after [[Emily#Post-Date Conversation Transcript|Emily's post-date conversation]].
The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current [[sweetheart]], [[PandaHalo]].<ref name = rape>[[IRC (21 January 2009)]]</ref> Panda announced this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and told him that she was pregnant. In response, Clyde repeatedly called her a "liar."<ref name = rape/> Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and proposed that Panda get an abortion. Ultimately, Chris was unaffected by all of this and simply moved onto the next [[gal-pal]]. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.<ref name = penny/>


<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' [''fake-sounding accent''] This call is being recorded. [''phone ringing'']</font>
===Sonichu Girls===
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, hello?</font>
{{Main|Sonichu Girls}}
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hey, Chris. It’s me.  Clyde. You seemed a little hasty at the end, there. I just want to talk to you.</font>
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Uh, who is this?</font>
Clyde also created a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as '''Sonichu Girls'''.<ref name = sonichugirls>[https://web.archive.org/web/20100425184455/http://sonichugirls.yuku.com/topic/120/t/I-Clyde-Cash-have-revealed-the-truth-behind-SonichuGirls.html Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls]</ref> This group was co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,<ref>[[IRC (20 January 2009)]]</ref> and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group was primarily made up of troll personas that were later used to catfish Chris, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum was later repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from [[the Miscreants]].
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' It's Clyde.</font>
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh. [''unintelligible'']</font>
==="Julie"===
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' You want to say ‘hi’ to Emily?  She’s still here. Anyway, I just wondered, like, uh…  I was trying to help you with your virgin problem, and I sent over some ''fine'' ladies over to your house. How--how’d that work out for you?</font>
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Oh, so you were the one who sent them over, huh?  Well, for your information, uh, my family, uh, was very uncomfortable with them being--being sent over, and, uh, they re—and they reported them to the police, and they got turned in, and, uh… Yeah, we did not appreciate that.</font>
Clyde once again baited and threatened Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of [[BlueSpike]]. Bluespike had set up a [[Mumble]] chat in which Chris could communicate with [[TRUE and HONEST]] ''Sonichu'' fans. He also operated under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of [[Molvania]], luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening Julie with the Max character.
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Uh, Chris, you claim to be a virgin with rage all the time.  I’m trying to help you, man.</font>
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, well, sending over prostitutes is not exactly the way of helping somebody find true love.</font>
Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009|cleaning his room]] or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless [[Chris Comes Out of the Closet|he admits that he's gay]], leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike.
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Sex is not true love, Chris.</font> [''Chris talking in the background, indistinct'']
 
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' Yeah, you still there, Clyde?</font>
[[File:ThePatriots1.png|thumb|The Patriots from ''[[Metal Gear|Metal Gear Solid 2]]'', an inspiration for personas created by the trolls that called themselves the Miscreants.]]
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Yeah.</font>
Clyde later acted as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who trolled Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following [[Bob]]'s death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.<ref name = miscreants/> Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they also claimed to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a [[Pickle|pickled cucumber]] would [[Emily|steal one of his sweethearts]].<ref>[[:File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg]]</ref>
<br><font color="#4682B4">'''Chris:''' [''[[Barbara Chandler|Barbara]] prompting him, indistinct''] Yeah, keep your nose out of our business, Clyde.</font>
 
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Look, I worry for your family and everybody, okay?  I’m trying to look out for the best of you, Chris.  There are much more evil men in this world.</font>
When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde later claimed on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responded that he would [[Ohio Trip|make his way to Ohio]] to save her.<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009]]</ref> Of course, this effort proved fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady.
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I don't know who you think you are.</font>
 
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Hello?</font>
After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike prompted Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his [[medallion]] up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".<ref>[[Julie Reveals Herself]]</ref> This prompted Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".<ref name = starscream/> This is a reference to the ''[[Transformers]]'' character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this [[Chris and reality|because he believes]] Clyde had killed [[BlueSpike]] after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.<ref>[[Mumble 12]]</ref>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' I said I don't know who you think you are.</font>
 
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font>
===Church Audio and The Hooker Incident===
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' But I’m telling you to both—uh—uh—t-to cease bothering us, okay?</font>
 
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Chris, your voice changed.</font>
During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted [[Man in the Pickle Suit]] to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned [[Robert Simmons V]] into a troll and infiltrated [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]].<ref>[[Church Audio]]</ref> From this, both MIPS and Robert discovered several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that [[Rocky Shoemaker]] had encouraged him to continue reading [[How to Talk to Girls]].
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' [''overlapping''] Otherwise, yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.  Yer butt’s gonna be in trouble.</font>
 
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' Is your refrigerator running?</font>
Chris later went on a date with [[Emily]] at the [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]]. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she would live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publicly declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.<ref>[[Emily Date Conversation Transcript]]</ref> Clyde later claimed responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.<ref>[[Hooker incident]]</ref>
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Back off!</font>
 
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' Uoahh!</font>
===Harassment of Ivy===
<br><font color="#7D26CD">'''Barbara:''' Don't call us anymore. Goodbye!</font>
 
<br><font color="#213D30">'''Brian Bash:''' No, [''unintelligible''] Use the Poke flute, quick!</font>
When [[Ivy]] came along, Clyde decided to continually harass her. He leaked information regarding her, which provoked Chris to threaten him. Despite this, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.<ref>[[CWC "Boyfriend"]]</ref>
<br><font color="#009900">'''Clyde:''' Okay!</font>
 
[[File:RIPClyde.jpg|thumb|left|140px|''"I don't have the time or the luxury to cry and mourn... either way, I have to [[Chris's room|go upstairs]] and troll '''CHRIS'''...!"'']]
===PSN Hacking===
On 22 [[May 2009]], Clyde faked his death by self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. This was later reported by [[The Miscreants]].<ref name = obituary/> After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance a week later. Chris wasn't very pleased, as he had discovered that Clyde had made two purchases totalling at $15.98 after hacking into his PSN account. <ref name = vivg>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#29 May]]</ref> Chris attempted to contact [[Vivian Gee]] in order for her to pay back these transactions, but she claimed that she couldn't afford it.<ref name = vivg/> Ironically, a [[Jack Thaddeus|new foe]] would outperform Clyde in hacking into the account. By this point, Clyde was relatively dormant, and less active with Chris, only popping up occasionally. Despite this, Chris continually challenged Clyde to face him, and often blamed him for many of the misfortunes that followed.
 
=== The Return ===
 
In late [[2009]], when not battling [[Liquid Chris]] for the hand of [[Kacey]], Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into [[obesity|shape]] and a desire to frighten Clyde with his [[Chris and health|bulging muscles]].
 
However, because of the negative reaction to [[Sonichu Special 4|''Sonichu Special'' #4]], Chris, in the [[CWCipedia]] mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.<ref name = negotiate>[[Mailbag 5#In which Chris assumes Clyde Cash would punch him|Mailbag 5]]</ref>
 
Despite Clyde's inactivity, he remained a common scapegoat of Chris's. For example, Chris directed blame at Clyde in December of that year when he discovered an interactive billboard that used a photoshopped image of him at a gay bar.<ref>[[20 December 2009]]</ref> Chris however later outed [[Thorg]] for this endeavor during the [[Calling Out]] saga.<ref>[[Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy]]</ref>
 
Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in [[2010]], believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "[[The Wallflower]]". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a [[pocket knife|knife]] and [[Don't Mess With Me|slitting Clyde's throat]] as a [[Death threats|warning]] to all [[trolls]].
 
In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully [[Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails|attempted to scam Clyde]] into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own [[PS3]]. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to [[Surfshack Tito (troll)|Surfshack Tito]]'s vigilance.
 
{{clear}}
 
==Chris fights back==
 
At this point Clyde had raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and has been a general nuisance to Chris; Chris tried to fight back against Clyde every time Clyde intruded into his life.
 
===Threatening Violence===
[[File:Tard Rage.png|thumb|left|200px|Chris preparing for a throttling toward Clyde.]]
[[File:ClydeChoke.jpg|thumb|200px|Chris strangling that Clyde Cash!]]
{{quote|EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!|Chris [[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009|threatening]] Clyde Cash<ref>[[CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009]]</ref>}}
[[Image:Clown_Doll_2.jpg|thumb|A makeshift voodoo doll made by Chris out of the clown doll.]]
 
Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde was the subject of many threats of violence and [[death threats]] from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde; Chris was explicit about his desire to murder the troll. Chris stated a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Thankfully, Chris's threats to carry out these heinous acts never escalated to actual attempts.
 
Chris made use of an old [[Clown Doll]], treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris filmed himself beating up the doll repeatedly, occasionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He attempted to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. <ref>[[Sign Destruction Video]]</ref>
 
Upon Clyde's return, Chris declared that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.<ref>[[Challenge for Clyde]]</ref> Chris also tried to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to himself in several videos; in one instance claiming that [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]]. Chris called Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year after the fact in a [[Don't Mess With Me|YouTube video]] when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the [[Wallflower]] leaving him. In that video, Chris pretended to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him.
 
===Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing===
 
[[Image:GaySpiderMan.jpg|thumb|right|SPOILER: It's not really Clyde.]]
 
Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris also attempted to fight Clyde by threatening that he would uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had attempted several times after Clyde's return.  
 
In the video "[[Secret Weapon]]", Chris claimed to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lee-hotti-and-friends Lee Hotti] given to him by the troll [[lordsillynipples]]. Chris used the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the [[Take that Page DOWN NOW!|first instance of which]] he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.<ref>[[Take that Page DOWN NOW!]]</ref> A former troll-turned-white-knight informed him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.<ref>[[White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal]]</ref> Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and the image soon became a primary representation associated with the troll.
 
In another video, Chris once again claimed that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. In the video, Chris claimed that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.<ref>[[Clyde Cash the kid video]]</ref> Despite this, Chris still threatened Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris previously claimed that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocked Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song <i>Gangsta's Paradise</i>.<ref name = trollsta/>
 
Sometime before 25 [[October 2009]],<ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris hinted at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris threatened to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,<ref name = clydegreg>[[To Clyde Gregg]]</ref> while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".<ref name = clydegreg/><ref>[[Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009]]</ref> In one particular video trolls persuaded him to make,<ref>[[Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Troll-Scripted Content]]</ref> Chris attempted to humiliate both Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]], calling both of them weak by having this image [[Twin Falling Towers|take the place of the Twin Towers]]. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.<ref>[[ClydeGoingOnGregg1]], [[Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!]], [[Clyde is Weaker than Water]], [[Getting Foam Ed]], [[Twin Falling Towers]], [[It will never end]], [[Apology for 9/11 Joke]]</ref>
 
===Negotiation===
 
Chris has stated in a few instances that he was willing to sit down and talk with Clyde cooperatively, but only if he chooses to stop harassing him, and declares Sonichu as his own work.
 
{{quote|I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first.|<ref name = negotiate/>}}
 
===Calling Out and Insults===
{{quote|Hey, at least my head's not fucking orange. Like a certain...cashy type person I know.|Chris randomly calling out Clyde Cash in a video where he mimes making spaghetti.<ref name = "spaghetti">[[SpaghettiRoutine]]</ref>}}
[[File:Chriscash.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Chris's bizarre attempt to [[100 2267|impersonate Clyde]].]]
Chris also called Clyde out on the various trolling plans that he had for him.
 
In other instances, Chris resorted to insulting his enemy by mocking his apperance. One example of this is in a video where he paints his face orage, attempts to copy Clyde's stylistic hairstyle, and his mannerisms.<ref>[[100 2267]]</ref> In that video he called Clyde out all of the harm he has done on him, including the rape of [[PandaHalo]], and the supposed spreading of rumors to defame Chris. Another example is in a video where Chris is asked by [[Jackie]] to cook spaghetti in a video. Towards the end of the video, he clearly has made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs, which he then proceeds to stick his face into, giving his face an orange-ish color. Chris remarks on this by mocking Clyde's apperance, saying how his face isn't "fuck'n orange".<ref name = "spaghetti"/>


==In the comic==
==In the comic==
[[Image:CWCsClyde.jpg|thumb|right|Clyde, left, with [[Ivy]].]]
[[File:Cly.jpg|thumb|200px|"Cly" in [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]].]]
Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the [[Sonichu (comic)|comic]] is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]]. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before [[Secret Weapon|Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance]], Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha]] attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance, or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll.
 
Apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on [[CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero]], officially [[Sonichu Special 1|''Sonichu Special'' #1]]. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent [[The Man in the Pickle Suit]]). He made his first appearance in the comic proper [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu'' #10]] as the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building is collapsing. When [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] escapes, he condemns Clyde and [[Jack Thaddeus]] for being [[homo]] trolls. When [[Beel]] escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for [[Nazis|Adolf Hitler]]. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative.
 
==Retirement==
[[File:Commissions H.jpg|thumb|left|200px|Peace in our time.]]
 
The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for [[Alex's Lemonade Stand]], where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of [[Bob Chandler|his father]], as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired from his trolling career and moved back to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen on the internet, or at least Chris's corner of it, since then.
 
Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a [[Commissions|commission]], albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic.
 
In the September 2020 [[Discord Q&A 4]], Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).<ref>[[Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?]]</ref>
 
==Other Aliases==
<!---Editor's Note: This section is primarily meant to provide background for other conflicts involving Clyde, as many of them involved the following personas. As the article is primarily about the Clyde character, the other personas should not get more than a paragraph or two on this article.--->
The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other aliases, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also involved these other personas.
 
===Vivian Gee===
{{Main|Vivian Gee}}
 
'''Vivian Gee''', a fictional cousin of Clyde, was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Vivian Was Clyde]]</ref><ref name = sonichugirls/><ref group = note>When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.</ref> even predating the Clyde persona itself.<ref>[[CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Clyde History]]</ref> Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, in which she e-mailed him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.<ref>[[Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008]]</ref> Following from that, Vivian tried to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his [[medallion]].
 
Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she wrote a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping that this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian took his place as the leader of the Miscreants. When the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona left along with it.
 
Vivian was also the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris issued to Clyde.
 
===Bryan Bash===
{{Main|Bryan Bash}}
 
'''Bryan Bash''' was a good friend of Clyde's and was an agent of the Miscreants. He sent several hookers following a date with Emily gone wrong, part of an attempt from Clyde to help Chris. Bryan also provided leaks of calls, videos, chats, and drawings that Chris had made to the Miscreants.
 
===Gregg Mays===
{{See also|Gregg Mays E-mails}}
 
"'''Gregg Mays'''" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails]]</ref> The Gregg Mays character was part of a plan to hack into [[sonichu.net]], having promised Chris that the website would be redesigned to promote Sonichu for [[Animal Crossing]]. Gregg asked Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris promptly gave him. Gregg then hacked into the website. Gregg then told Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight in exchange for regaining control of the website.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009]]</ref>
 
Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not [[Jason Kendrick Howell]], Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a [[Jason Kendrick Howell message|message]] to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.<ref>[[Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009]]</ref> Chris also came to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.<ref>[[10242009]]</ref> Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff.
 
===Other Nintendo Staff===
{{Main|Shigeru Miyamoto|Reggie Fils-Aimé|Takashi Tezuka|Jay Z}}
 
The troll behind Clyde also roleplayed as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were '''Shigeru Miyamoto''', '''Reggie Fils-Aimé''', '''Takashi Tezuka''', and '''James Zylberstein'''.
 
It was around this time that [[Takashi Tezuka]] and [[Jay Z]] were doing their ''[[Animal Crossing]]'' game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as [[Shigeru Miyamoto]] to destroy any chance of the project. <ref>[[Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond]]</ref><ref group = note>When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen [https://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Miyamoto_emails&diff=39023&oldid=39022 here].</ref> Shigeru engaged with Chris in [[Miyamoto E-mails|a series of emails]], discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform.
 
===Mao Ling===
{{main|Mao Ling}}
'''Mao "Bamboo" Ling''' was the founder of Asperpedia, as well as one of the Asperpedia Four.
 
==Fan art==
<center><gallery>
File:ClydeCashSonichu.jpg|Clyde Cash Sonichu
File:Cash1.png|No one can be trusted when it comes to Cash!
Image:325504 - Chris-chan clyde cash.jpg|[[Hooker incident#Aftermath|Clyde's butt being in trouble]], [[Chris-chan Discusses...|courtesy of Chris]].
Image:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg|[[Virginia]]: [[Virginia is for Virgins|No longer for virgins]].
Image:ClydeJackGay.JPG|thumb|Artist's depiction of Clyde and Jack's final moments.
File:Clyde cash-min.jpg|TSSSF card created for Clyde
File:ClydeChad.png|Clyde Chad
</gallery></center>


In the comic Cly(de) is a villain working for [[Mary Lee Walsh]], apart from capturing [[Ivy]] and getting into a fight with Chris because the comic he has only appeared on Chris's Music video it is unknown how Clyde has been portrayed apart from living in his mansion and having a slander ray.
{{Fan art}}
{{clear}}


==Fan videos==


{{Infobox/Fanvideo
| name          = Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash.
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|ajX95RLV3cI}}
| stardate      = 12 [[October 2009]]
| maker          = GUInterface
| subject        = Clyde Cash
| type          = Edited game cutscene
| info          = Clyde Cash's demise.
}}


== Tribute ==
{{Infobox/Fanvideo
<center>{{#ev:youtube|FiTVga0G8Ws}}</center>
| name          = Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut)
| video          = {{#ev:youtube|52xWbxgYECI}}
| stardate      = 13 July 2021
| maker          = Kenny Blades
| subject        = Clyde Cash
| type          = Rap dedicated to Clyde
}}


== Selected videos ==
==See also==
* 12 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 12th, 2009]] Boobies, vaginas...gorgeous.
*[[A CWC Audition]]
* 15 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009]] I DENOUNCE
*[[(Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise]]
* 17 January: [[CWC to Mr. Miyamoto-san]] Ohio Miyamoto-san.
* 19 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 19th, 2009]] A dead dog is a dead brother.
* 21 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 21st, 2009]] I hate the homos.
* 26 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 26th, 2009]] It was a good trip to [[Red Mond]].
* 31 January: [[Captain's Log, Stardate January 31st, 2009]] Come to me, Miyamoto.
* 10 February: [[Captain's Log, Stardate February 10th, 2009]] I knew it!
* 27 March: [[Captain's Log, Stardate March 27th, 2009]] BACK THE FUCK OFF.
* 30 March: [[Take_that_Page_DOWN_NOW!]] You'll be DEAD.
* 30 March: [[YouTube Finale]] Even in a police station.
* 23 April: [[Captain's Log, Stardate April 23rd, 2009]] Come out of your Trollsta's Paradise.


==Gallery==
{{Notes}}
<gallery>
{{References}}
Image:RIPClyde.jpg|Clyde's Final Scene.
Image:Socash.jpg
</gallery>


==Links==
==External links==
*<strike>[http://www.youtube.com/user/clydethecash Clyde's YouTube account]</strike>
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreggMays Gregg's YouTube account]
*[http://www.mediafire.com/?jmmyzlznhfa Post-date conversations] (part with Clyde begins at about 4:35)
*[https://archive.org/details/CWC-emily-date-aftermath Post-date Conversations] – The part with Clyde begins at about 4:35.


{{ClydeCashSaga}}
{{PandaSaga}}
{{MiyamotoSaga}}
{{JulieSaga}}
{{PS3Saga}}
{{EmilySaga}}
{{IvySaga}}
{{Trolls}}
{{Trolls}}
{{people}}
{{articleofthenow}}


[[Category:Dead]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cash, Clyde}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:Miscreants Members]]
[[Category:Clyde Cash Saga]]

Latest revision as of 03:59, 14 August 2024

Although the troll behind Clyde played multiple characters, this article primarily tackles Chris's interactions with the Clyde persona. Clyde's other personas are discussed towards the end of the article.


HonestContent.jpg
This article is rated M for Honest Content

It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
Jason Kendrick Howell.jpg
Note on Misinformation:

This article previously included information that was primarily speculative or incorrect. This is being fixed. For more information see here.

Jason Kendrick Howell.jpg
Note on Sockpuppets:

Clyde Cash has been known to use sockpuppet accounts. Since it is difficult to discern their sock accounts, it is best to avoid speculating an account belongs to Clyde Cash unless fully verified.

Trollll.PNG Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris. He was played by the same person behind Gregg Mays, Vivian Gee, Bryan Bash, Mao Ling, and Shigeru Miyamoto.

Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.)
No, no! The goal is to make sure you never get laid. That is the goal of the Miscreants.
Clyde to Chris when introducing him to the Miscreants.[1]
Yer butt's gonna be in trouble.
Barbara Chandler to Clyde Cash[2]


Clyde Cash
Information
Name Clyde Cash
Date of birth (1976-07-04) July 4, 1976[3] (age 48)
Also known as Gregg Mays
Clydec
TheGreggMays
Mr. Sin Dinero[4]
Mr. Clyde[5]
Clyde No-cash[6]
Starscream troll[7]
Gender MALE
Known for  • Raping Pandahalo, and being happily married to her
 • Creating a forum full of fake female Sonichu fans
 • Being the leader of the Miscreants
 • Plotting to send hookers to Chris's house after Emily gets stolen by a man in a pickle suit
 • Faking his death, and then returning to hack into Chris's PSN account.
Race Half-Asian[8]
Nationality American
Occupation Musician
Internet Troll
Organization The Miscreants (founder, former leader)
Spouse PandaHalo
Children Penny Cash[9]
Siblings Ryan Cash (brother)
Other relatives Vivian Gee (cousin)
Saga Clyde Cash, PandaHalo, Miyamoto, Julie, PSN Hacking, Emily, Ivy, Tito, Jackie

Clyde Cash (alias Gregg Mays – that's Gregg with three G's) (4 July 1976[3]) was the ringleader of The Miscreants and is often considered to be Chris's arch-nemesis, even years after his trolling days were finished. In recent years, however, some have argued that people like the Idea Guys and Jacob Sockness have taken this position away from Clyde. Nonetheless, when people think of Chris Chan's greatest trolls, Clyde is usually chief among them, usually due to the sheer volume of videos that Chris made denouncing or threatening his Guido rival. Clyde, in turn, played up being a heel to Chris, presenting himself as a comically diabolical mastermind conspiring to inconvenience Chris wherever possible.

Ironically, despite Chris' constant demonizing of him, and his own approach to trolling as playing the role of the mustache-twirling, frat bro fiend, Clyde has warned him about several things that would later return to bite Chris in the ass, such as his unwillingness to work, his bad spending and saving habits, his delusional thoughts and his poor treatment of women. Clyde also successfully surmised that Chris had an innate desire to dress like a woman because he wanted to become one himself. Not all of Clyde's trolling was malicious, however; he also attempted to try to use his trolling attempts to get Chris to understand some unpleasant truths to help him understand the error of his ways, similarly to his Vivian Gee persona, but to no avail.

Multiple trolls (usually weens) utilized the alias of Clyde Cash during the "Classic Era" of Christory, but the original found the most success in getting under Chris's skin. As mentioned above, the original troll behind the Clyde Cash persona was also involved with a variety of other personas dedicated to trolling Chris, and at least one was active at any given time prior to the disbanding of the Miscreants. Clyde and his various proxies retired following the death of Bob Chandler, with no clear word about where the original troll went.

Prologue

The Clyde Cash saga is often considered one of the most memorable to observers. This is in part due to the sheer amount of activity from the troll, and all of the ways that Chris reacted to Clyde's efforts. The Clyde Cash saga included Chris wishing physical harm on Clyde, several videos showing repeated attempts to blackmail him, a video where he compares his strength to the Twin Towers, videos involving the abuse of a clown doll, a video where Chris dons orange-brown face paint to impersonate his nemesis, the formation of a group whose sole purpose was to prevent Chris from getting a sweetheart, the stealing of several of Chris's potential sweethearts, and a few comic appearances as a chrome-domed villain with a jetpack.

Pre-Trolling Life

According to an obituary detailing his supposed death, before becoming the guido nemesis of Chris, Clyde was a famed musician, creating music for his brother Ryan following his death. Clyde had also been known for many years to adopt children and raise them, especially when adoption rates were low.[10]

Ryan's Death

TakingThoseMislabelings.JPG
NOTE:

Ryan Cash was not a real person. He was created to manipulate Chris.
A brother swears vengeance.

Ryan Cash was the fictional brother of Clyde, who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released, withholding Sonichu 7, in protest of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page. He left the following note before killing himself:


Dear family and friends, this is my final message to you, i am going to kill myself after my hero, christian weston chandler let me down. Sonichu was my hero and without anymore comics i will never be able to aspire to be just like him. i hate christian for deciding to not make any more comics and being lazy! all he does is play his stupid video game and not care about anything but himself! He's such a jerk! GOOD BYE FOREVER I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HELL CHRIS. Ryan Cash.
A sad final farewell.

Clyde was absolutely heartbroken upon discovering his brother's cadaver, and entered a state of depression. While Chris was upset by this news, due to his naïve understanding of the concept of death, his response to the news came across as condescending to a grieving Clyde, who was upset that the video wasn't dedicated to his brother, but various news items that were seemingly of more importance to Chris. The final straw was when Chris made a thoughtless comment indicating that he enjoyed having enough influence over someone that they could kill themselves after he took a course of action.

Trolling

TakingThoseMislabelings.JPG
NOTE:

The Clyde persona most associated with Christory was not played by multiple people. It was played by the same person who played Vivian Gee, Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aime, Bryan Bash, Mao Ling, and many other personas. Several weens had ended up using Clyde's likeness to imitate him during the "Classic" era.
An artist's interpretation of this epic struggle.

Following from Ryan's death, Clyde's grief transformed into righteous indignation, and he swore to avenge his fallen brother by setting himself on a path to become Chris's archnemesis, even if he had to become a monster to do so. Clyde achieved notoriety for his various trolling plans against Chris.

Rape of PandaHalo

Main article: PandaHalo

The first plan involving the Clyde persona was to make Chris believe that Clyde had raped his current sweetheart, PandaHalo.[11] Panda announced this revelation to Chris in an IRC chat, and told him that she was pregnant. In response, Clyde repeatedly called her a "liar."[11] Despite Chris's initial shock of the revelation, he was still willing to forgive Clyde for this, and proposed that Panda get an abortion. Ultimately, Chris was unaffected by all of this and simply moved onto the next gal-pal. Chris believes that Clyde married Panda and had a "One Cent Daughter" named Penny.[9]

Sonichu Girls

Main article: Sonichu Girls

Clyde also created a fake group of female Sonichu fans known as Sonichu Girls.[12] This group was co-founded by Sarah May, who previously white-knighted Chris in IRC chats he had with Clyde,[13] and another gal-pal named Cassie. The group was primarily made up of troll personas that were later used to catfish Chris, including Julie and Emily. Not much else is known about Clyde's involvement with the project, though the forum was later repurposed into a message board for trolls, many of whom were from the Miscreants.

"Julie"

Clyde once again baited and threatened Chris with Julie, a trollsona created by a 13-year-old troll that went by the name of BlueSpike. Bluespike had set up a Mumble chat in which Chris could communicate with TRUE and HONEST Sonichu fans. He also operated under two aliases, "Julie" and "Max" Milvana, two siblings who came from the nation of Molvania, luring Chris into various trolling plans with the Julie character, and threatening Julie with the Max character.

Clyde stalked Julie while infiltrating the Mumble chats to confront Chris. He began throwing demands to Chris such as cleaning his room or threatening Chris that he will harm Julie, unless he admits that he's gay, leading to unexpected results. Chris at the same time also bought SonichuandRosechu.com. Clyde got access yet again, this time with the help of BlueSpike.

The Patriots from Metal Gear Solid 2, an inspiration for personas created by the trolls that called themselves the Miscreants.

Clyde later acted as the founder and original leader of a made up group called "the Miscreants", a group of people who trolled Chris from early 2009 to 2011, terminating the group following Bob's death. Clyde has claimed the original purpose of the group was to prevent Chris from finding a boyfriend-free girl.[1] Supposedly being a group that's been around since ancient times, they also claimed to be resposible for many of Chris's past misfortunes, prophesizing that a man dressed as a pickled cucumber would steal one of his sweethearts.[14]

When it was announced that Max had kidnaped Julie, Clyde later claimed on 24 February 2009 that he had plans to send Julie off to China in 9 hours, to which Chris responded that he would make his way to Ohio to save her.[15] Of course, this effort proved fruitless, as the address he was given belonged to a rundown house owned by an elderly lady.

After tinkering with the new Max character, BlueSpike prompted Chris to do things like shoving pieces of his medallion up his ass, and telling him to say the word "niggers".[16] This prompted Clyde to kick BlueSpike out of the Miscreants. In Chris's revised Encyclopedia Dramatica page, Clyde is referred to as a "Starscream troll".[7] This is a reference to the Transformers character Starscream, who would often switch sides or plot to overthrow Megatron behind the scenes. Chris says this because he believes Clyde had killed BlueSpike after he had been kicked out of the Miscreants.[17]

Church Audio and The Hooker Incident

During Chris's short break from the Internet, Clyde sent out his trusted Man in the Pickle Suit to scout out Chris's whereabouts. The MIPS turned Robert Simmons V into a troll and infiltrated Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.[18] From this, both MIPS and Robert discovered several more details about Chris's personal life, such as citing Family Guy as evidence that homosexuality is sinful, and that Rocky Shoemaker had encouraged him to continue reading How to Talk to Girls.

Chris later went on a date with Emily at the Charlottesville Fashion Square. The MIPS then stole her from Chris, which then prompted Emily to declare to Chris that she would live with Clyde instead of him, and for Chris to publicly declare the MIPS's association with Clyde.[19] Clyde later claimed responsibility for the failed date in a call with Chris which followed soon after providing him with a group of "escorts" to help him with his Love Quest.[20]

Harassment of Ivy

When Ivy came along, Clyde decided to continually harass her. He leaked information regarding her, which provoked Chris to threaten him. Despite this, Ivy eventually gave in and rumors circulated about her killing herself.[21]

"I don't have the time or the luxury to cry and mourn... either way, I have to go upstairs and troll CHRIS...!"

PSN Hacking

On 22 May 2009, Clyde faked his death by self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. This was later reported by The Miscreants.[10] After Clyde faked his death for reasons unknown, he came back with a vengeance a week later. Chris wasn't very pleased, as he had discovered that Clyde had made two purchases totalling at $15.98 after hacking into his PSN account. [22] Chris attempted to contact Vivian Gee in order for her to pay back these transactions, but she claimed that she couldn't afford it.[22] Ironically, a new foe would outperform Clyde in hacking into the account. By this point, Clyde was relatively dormant, and less active with Chris, only popping up occasionally. Despite this, Chris continually challenged Clyde to face him, and often blamed him for many of the misfortunes that followed.

The Return

In late 2009, when not battling Liquid Chris for the hand of Kacey, Chris spent his time trying to convince Clyde Cash, alias Gregg Mays (or "Gregg Mays, alias Clyde Cash," depending on which name he remembers first) to face him in a one on one battle. Chris has recorded several feats of strength through a combination of Kacey trying to get him to get into shape and a desire to frighten Clyde with his bulging muscles.

However, because of the negative reaction to Sonichu Special #4, Chris, in the CWCipedia mailbag, made clear that he would only sit and talk cooperatively with Clyde to get him to stop harassing him.[23]

Despite Clyde's inactivity, he remained a common scapegoat of Chris's. For example, Chris directed blame at Clyde in December of that year when he discovered an interactive billboard that used a photoshopped image of him at a gay bar.[24] Chris however later outed Thorg for this endeavor during the Calling Out saga.[25]

Eventually, Chris decided to revisit his old nemesis in 2010, believing he was the reason why he lost the heart of "The Wallflower". In it, he is shown fighting Clyde, then pulling a knife and slitting Clyde's throat as a warning to all trolls.

In another well-thought counter-trolling plan, Chris unsuccessfully attempted to scam Clyde into paying Chris $9,001 for destroying his own PS3. This almost fail-proof scheme was however foiled thanks to Surfshack Tito's vigilance.

Chris fights back

At this point Clyde had raped PandaHalo, threatened many of his other gal-pals, and has been a general nuisance to Chris; Chris tried to fight back against Clyde every time Clyde intruded into his life.

Threatening Violence

Chris preparing for a throttling toward Clyde.
Chris strangling that Clyde Cash!
EEEEEEENNNNNNNNGH GON' SSSSSTRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH! I will PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT!
Chris threatening Clyde Cash[26]
A makeshift voodoo doll made by Chris out of the clown doll.

Like many trolls that Chris perceived as his enemy, Clyde was the subject of many threats of violence and death threats from Chris. Though, in comparison to how he's responded to other trolls, Chris appeared to be far more vitriolic towards Clyde; Chris was explicit about his desire to murder the troll. Chris stated a desire to do such things as strangle him, "punch his lights out", or "shove his ass down his throat" to "make him eat his underwear". Thankfully, Chris's threats to carry out these heinous acts never escalated to actual attempts.

Chris made use of an old Clown Doll, treating it as an object to release his anger towards Clyde on. Chris filmed himself beating up the doll repeatedly, occasionally putting what he presumed to be Clyde's face over it. He attempted to tear up the doll repeatedly, but only managed to tear off its hat with his teeth. [27]

Upon Clyde's return, Chris declared that he would one day confront Clyde in a fight.[28] Chris also tried to make Clyde appear weak in comparison to himself in several videos; in one instance claiming that Clyde is Weaker than Water. Chris called Clyde out about the rape of PandaHalo a year after the fact in a YouTube video when he came to believe that Clyde was responsible for the Wallflower leaving him. In that video, Chris pretended to beat up, choke, and then slit the throat of Clyde directly after he insulted him.

Attempted Doxing and Blackmailing

SPOILER: It's not really Clyde.

Throughout their encounters, aside from threatening physical violence on him, Chris also attempted to fight Clyde by threatening that he would uncover his true identity, blackmail him, and report him to authorities, a tactic which he had attempted several times after Clyde's return.

In the video "Secret Weapon", Chris claimed to have aqcuired the mugshot of Clyde, which is actually a photograph of Lee Hotti given to him by the troll lordsillynipples. Chris used the photo to reperesent Clyde in various videos where he threatens beating him up, typically placing it over the aforementioned clown doll, the first instance of which he actually uploaded a few hours before he declared unveiling Clyde's identiy.[29] A former troll-turned-white-knight informed him a month later that the picture he was given was not that of Clyde.[30] Despite it not actually being Clyde, the picture was circulated ironically, treating it as the true picture of Clyde, and the image soon became a primary representation associated with the troll.

In another video, Chris once again claimed that he was able to figure out Clyde's true identity. In the video, Chris claimed that Clyde is actually a little kid who attends an elementary school in Frankfurt, Kentucky.[31] Despite this, Chris still threatened Clyde by telling others to report him to the Frankfurt police. Chris previously claimed that Clyde was actually a minor in other videos, including one where he mocked Clyde by singing over the Coolio and Kylian Mash song Gangsta's Paradise.[6]

Sometime before 25 October 2009,[32] Chris obtained an alleged photo of Clyde Cash straddling a man in a Spider-Man costume. In several videos, Chris hinted at possessing the photo to intimidate Clyde by using a cropped version of the image to represent Clyde. Chris threatened to blackmail Clyde by releasing the full image, uncovering it bit by bit, unless he left him alone, and he reveals his true identity by a deadline,[33] while also referring to the costumed man as the "itsy-bitsy spider".[33][34] In one particular video trolls persuaded him to make,[35] Chris attempted to humiliate both Clyde and Jack Thaddeus, calling both of them weak by having this image take the place of the Twin Towers. Clyde did not stop, but Chris never returned the favor.[36]

Negotiation

Chris has stated in a few instances that he was willing to sit down and talk with Clyde cooperatively, but only if he chooses to stop harassing him, and declares Sonichu as his own work.

I would say the parts where I communicate with him; similar to a father-and-son conversation. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would maintain a pleasant conversation, with hopes of it not turning into an abusive conflict; I would not hit back unless he hit me first.
[23]

Calling Out and Insults

Hey, at least my head's not fucking orange. Like a certain...cashy type person I know.
Chris randomly calling out Clyde Cash in a video where he mimes making spaghetti.[37]
Chris's bizarre attempt to impersonate Clyde.

Chris also called Clyde out on the various trolling plans that he had for him.

In other instances, Chris resorted to insulting his enemy by mocking his apperance. One example of this is in a video where he paints his face orage, attempts to copy Clyde's stylistic hairstyle, and his mannerisms.[38] In that video he called Clyde out all of the harm he has done on him, including the rape of PandaHalo, and the supposed spreading of rumors to defame Chris. Another example is in a video where Chris is asked by Jackie to cook spaghetti in a video. Towards the end of the video, he clearly has made microwaved spaghetti and meatballs, which he then proceeds to stick his face into, giving his face an orange-ish color. Chris remarks on this by mocking Clyde's apperance, saying how his face isn't "fuck'n orange".[37]

In the comic

Despite his prominence as the leader of the trolls and being the frequent object of Chris's scorn in his videos, Clyde's overall presence in the winding narrative of the comic is surprisingly smaller than one might think. In the context of the story, Cly(de) is just another villain working for Mary Lee Walsh. Given that his first appearance in a music video was illustrated well before Chris discovered the photograph of Lee Hotti that he mistook for Clyde Cash's true appearance, Cly is portrayed as a bald, red-eyed baddie with no beard and fair skin instead of a freckled, tanned dudebro with spiky hair, a headband, and a very thin beard across his chin. He also has a fabulous purple cape and a dapper suit underneath, rather than typical Guido attire. Cly also has a jetpack, which he uses to regain his bearings after being hit with a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack. Strangely, Chris did not update the character's design in his few subsequent appearances after he discovered the "truth" of the master troll's appearance, or much later, when he drew a commission of himself making peace with the troll.

Apart from capturing Ivy and getting into a fight with Chris, he initially only appeared on CWC Music Video Holding Out For a Hero, officially Sonichu Special #1. Not much is known about Clyde, other than he lives in a mansion and owns a slander ray and a pickle gun (which allows him to technically represent The Man in the Pickle Suit). He made his first appearance in the comic proper Sonichu #10 as the 4-cent_garbage.com building is collapsing. When Jason Kendrick Howell escapes, he condemns Clyde and Jack Thaddeus for being homo trolls. When Beel escapes, he too condemns the two for their actions, saying that being homo trolls that are "slandering and tarnishing an innocent man's good name" is just as evil as being an assistant for Adolf Hitler. With no option left, Clyde and Jack jump into the 66+6-story elevator shaft to their deaths. Judging by Chris's commission, however, the death did not stick, although Cly no longer serves as an antagonistic force in the winding narrative.

Retirement

Peace in our time.

The last time Clyde interacted with Chris was during Chris's campaign for Alex's Lemonade Stand, where Clyde donated $10 dollars and shockingly commended Chris for doing something selfless for once. Notably, the comment on the Alex's Lemonade Stand page was the only time that Clyde interacted with Chris after the death of his father, as he and several other Miscreants had agreed to leave Chris alone when they decided that Chris had suffered enough, and that trolling him wasn't fun anymore. At some point after this, Clyde Cash felt that his brother Ryan had been sufficiently avenged, so he retired from his trolling career and moved back to New Jersey where he, his wife Sarah, and their daughter Penny could watch the sun rise over a grateful universe. He has not been seen on the internet, or at least Chris's corner of it, since then.

Chris, surprisingly, has forgiven Clyde for what he has done, or at least he's stopped caring. In 2014, Chris drew art of him and Clyde making peace as part of a commission, albeit with both parties doing so somewhat begrudgingly. Notably, Chris completely screws up Clyde's height, making him appear to be much shorter than he was in the pages of the comic.

In the September 2020 Discord Q&A 4, Chris said that of all the trolls, the one he would want to meet the most is the person behind Clyde Cash (and, by extension, Vivian Gee, Mao, Gregg Mays, and Shigeru Miyamoto).[39]

Other Aliases

The original troll behind the Clyde persona had also created a number of other aliases, all of which were intended for entirely different trolling plans involving Chris. Many of the conflicts that involved Clyde also involved these other personas.

Vivian Gee

Main article: Vivian Gee

Vivian Gee, a fictional cousin of Clyde, was the first of several personas created by the troll behind Clyde,[40][12][note 1] even predating the Clyde persona itself.[41] Vivian's earliest known interaction with Chris was on 4 November 2007, in which she e-mailed him, claiming to be the original creator of Sonichu.[42] Following from that, Vivian tried to "help" Chris, suggesting that he destroy his medallion.

Vivian had also created the Sonichu Audiobooks, and other pieces of media that reference Chris. Continuing on her endevor to "help" Chris, she wrote a novel for a contest which revolved around Chris ruling world, hoping that this would help him see the error of his ways. After Clyde's alleged death, Vivian took his place as the leader of the Miscreants. When the Clyde persona left in 2011, the Vivian persona left along with it.

Vivian was also the subject of death threats as extreme as the ones Chris issued to Clyde.

Bryan Bash

Main article: Bryan Bash

Bryan Bash was a good friend of Clyde's and was an agent of the Miscreants. He sent several hookers following a date with Emily gone wrong, part of an attempt from Clyde to help Chris. Bryan also provided leaks of calls, videos, chats, and drawings that Chris had made to the Miscreants.

Gregg Mays

"Gregg Mays" was originally intended to be the name of a person entirely different from Clyde, a web designer working for Nintendo.[43] The Gregg Mays character was part of a plan to hack into sonichu.net, having promised Chris that the website would be redesigned to promote Sonichu for Animal Crossing. Gregg asked Chris for both his username and password for his Tripod account in order to adapt a new "system" for the website, which Chris promptly gave him. Gregg then hacked into the website. Gregg then told Chris to make a video to proclaim that he was straight in exchange for regaining control of the website.[44]

Even after Clyde spelled it out to Chris that "Gregg" was an alias of his, and that he was not Jason Kendrick Howell, Chris still believed it was Jason who hacked into the website. He sent a message to Clyde while thinking he was Jason, wishing him harm.[45] Chris also came to believe "Gregg Mays" to be the actual name of the troll who played the Clyde persona.[46] Ironically, despite realizing that Gregg was a troll persona, he was still under the belief that he was actually being contacted by Nintendo staff.

Other Nintendo Staff

Main articles: Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and Jay Z

The troll behind Clyde also roleplayed as Nintendo staff besides Gregg. These staff members were Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Takashi Tezuka, and James Zylberstein.

It was around this time that Takashi Tezuka and Jay Z were doing their Animal Crossing game project. Clyde then decided to make things more interesting and posed as Shigeru Miyamoto to destroy any chance of the project. [47][note 2] Shigeru engaged with Chris in a series of emails, discussing the possibility of turning Sonichu into a video game franchise for the Nintendo platform.

Mao Ling

Main article: Mao Ling

Mao "Bamboo" Ling was the founder of Asperpedia, as well as one of the Asperpedia Four.

Fan art

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Clyde Cash!

Fan videos

Christian Weston Chandler kills Clyde Cash.
Stardate 12 October 2009
Made By GUInterface
Subject Matter Clyde Cash
Video Type Edited game cutscene
Other Info Clyde Cash's demise.
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos


Clyde Cash (Amputated Cut)
Stardate 13 July 2021
Made By Kenny Blades
Subject Matter Clyde Cash
Video Type Rap dedicated to Clyde
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos

See also

Notes

  1. When Clyde had revealed that he had created Sonichu Girls, he used his "vivitheg" screen name, while also calling himself Clyde.
  2. When Clyde edited the page regarding the e-mails he sent to Chris as Miyamoto, he annotated many parts of the page with red quoteboxes, as several of the e-mails were lost. The edit can be seen here.

References

  1. 1.0 1.1 Mumble 9
  2. The Hooker Incident
  3. 3.0 3.1 File:ClydesDriverlicense.jpg
  4. Secret Weapon
  5. Chris Calls Clyde Out
  6. 6.0 6.1 (Clyde's) Trollsta's Paradise
  7. 7.0 7.1 Chris chan (CWCipedia)#Sex Life
  8. Mumble 2
  9. 9.0 9.1 Jackie Chat 7
  10. 10.0 10.1 File:Clyde Cash obituary.png
  11. 11.0 11.1 IRC (21 January 2009)
  12. 12.0 12.1 Wayback Machine Link to Clyde admitting to creating Sonichu Girls
  13. IRC (20 January 2009)
  14. File:TapestryPickleMan.jpg
  15. Clyde E-mails#February 24, 2009
  16. Julie Reveals Herself
  17. Mumble 12
  18. Church Audio
  19. Emily Date Conversation Transcript
  20. Hooker incident
  21. CWC "Boyfriend"
  22. 22.0 22.1 Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#29 May
  23. 23.0 23.1 Mailbag 5
  24. 20 December 2009
  25. Calling Out "Thorg" - Jeremy
  26. CWC Update!!!!! 27 March 2009
  27. Sign Destruction Video
  28. Challenge for Clyde
  29. Take that Page DOWN NOW!
  30. White knight E-mails#17 April 2009 — Harbal
  31. Clyde Cash the kid video
  32. Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009
  33. 33.0 33.1 To Clyde Gregg
  34. Clyde E-mails#Hi, Clyde — October 25, 2009
  35. Kiwi Farms posts (Marvin)#Troll-Scripted Content
  36. ClydeGoingOnGregg1, Clyde's Buddy Matt Getting SUPER-LAID!!!, Clyde is Weaker than Water, Getting Foam Ed, Twin Falling Towers, It will never end, Apology for 9/11 Joke
  37. 37.0 37.1 SpaghettiRoutine
  38. 100 2267
  39. Discord Q&A 4#Which troll would you meet?
  40. CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Vivian Was Clyde
  41. CWCki Forums posts (Marvin)#Clyde History
  42. Vivian Gee E-mails, 2007-2008
  43. Gregg Mays E-mails
  44. Gregg Mays E-mails#It is I, Jason Kendrick Howell! If you ever want to see your beloved site restored, you must meet my demands. — January 12, 2009
  45. Gregg Mays E-mails#January 17, 2009
  46. 10242009
  47. Miyamoto emails#5 January 2009 to 10 January 2009: Chris is Invited to Redmond

External links

Clyde saga.png Clyde Cash Saga Clyde saga.png
The Players

Organizations: Sonichu Girls
People: ChrisClyde CashVivian GeeRyan CashLordsillynipplesBryan BashSarah MayBILLY MAYS
Inanimate Objects: Clown Doll


The Games
Platforms: IRC
Chris vs. Clyde: Clyde's Return: Spider-Man Blackmail: Vivian Gee:

Coinciding Sagas
EDPandaHaloJuliePSN HackingEmilyIvyTitoJackieFirst Exile
Panda saga.png PandaHalo Saga Panda saga.png
The Players: The IRC Chats: The Videos:
Coinciding Sagas: Blanca, Clyde Cash, Julie
Miyamoto saga.png Miyamoto Saga Miyamoto saga.png
The Players

People: ChrisGregg Mays (Jason Kendrick HowellClyde Cash) • Shigeru MiyamotoReggie Fils-AiméTakashi TezukaJay Z


E-mails:
Gregg Mays E-mailsMiyamoto E-mailsReggie E-mails
Gregg Mays: Nintendo:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash,
Julie saga.png Julie Saga Julie saga.png
The Players

Organizations: The Miscreants
People: ChrisBlueSpike (JulieMax) • Clyde CashSarah MayBILLY MAYSBob ChandlerAunt Corrina
Inanimate Objects: Kimmi


The Games
Platforms: IRCMumblePSNSkype
Places: MolvanîaOhio
Mumble Chats: (1233.54567899.5101112)
BlueSpike PSN Chats: (1233.53.74)
BlueSpike Skype Logs: (12345678910111213)
Art: Silvana MasturbationRosechu with a strap-on
Julie's Introduction: Sarah May: Chris vs. Clyde: Sex Leaks: The Miscreants: The Reveal: The Aftermath:

Coinciding Sagas
Clyde CashPandaHaloPSN Hacking
PS3Test.png PS3 Hacking Saga PS3Test.png
The Players

People: Chris (JenkinsJinkiesBill Riley) • Clyde CashJack ThaddeusSurfshack TitoBlueSpikeSamantha ThaddeusKatie BayLiquid ChrisPandaHalo


E-mails and Chats:
Jack Thaddeus (123) • SamanthaKatie Bay (123456) • Clyde and Tito PS3 E-mails
The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Julie, Tito, First Exile, Jackie,
MITPS.png Emily Saga MITPS.png
The Players

People: ChrisLoveYouLongTime (EmilyKim WilsonUnknown Gal-pals) • Bob ChandlerMan in the Pickle SuitMagical ManClyde CashFaerynRobert Simmons VBryan Bash


LoveYouLongTime: Emily: Kim:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Liquid
Ivy saga.png Ivy Saga Ivy saga.png
The Players: The Games: The Prizes:
Coinciding Sagas: Vanessa, Clyde Cash
    People