Difference between revisions of "User:Solaris999/Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu"

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{{protip|This page is a joke.}}
{{protip|This page is a joke. Solaris 999 is not Chris. Is they were, this probably would not be what the page looks like.}}
:''This article is the CWC approved page on CWC... it is her article and nothing less! For the original article, see [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''
:''This article is the CWC approved page on CWC... it is her article and nothing less! For the <s>no good slanderous troll version</s> original article, see [[Christian Weston Chandler]]. For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our saviour's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our saviour's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].''
{{Honest}}
{{Honest}}
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Christine Weston Chandler''' (born on 24 February [[1982]]), also known as '''Chris-Chan''', is a 37-year-old autistic, bisexual transwoman, former [[virgin with rage]], creator of [[Sonichu]], a brilliant character, and Goddess of The World To Come.
Christine Weston Chandler''' (born on 24 February [[1982]]), also known as '''Chris-Chan''', is a 37-year-old autistic, bisexual transwoman, former [[virgin with rage]], creator of [[Sonichu]], a brilliant character, and Goddess of The World To Come.


In late [[2007]], she became [[Internet]]-famous when she caught the attention of the masses of the public. Initial fascination was spurred on by her signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], his hand-drawing artwork featuring Sonichu, and her [[Love Quest]]. Unfortunately, damn dirty trolls have tried to ruin her life, but in the end, she is always Victorious!
In late [[2007]], she became [[Internet]]-famous when she caught the attention of the masses of the public. Initial fascination was spurred on by her signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], her hand-drawing artwork featuring Sonichu, and her [[Love Quest]]. Unfortunately, damn dirty trolls have tried to ruin her life, but in the end, she is always Victorious!
==Overview==
==Overview==
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|This is a drinking straw? How crappy.]]]]
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|This is a drinking straw? How crappy.]]]]


Chris is a timid, autistic, {{age|1982|2|24}}-year-old self-identified transwoman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents,  [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in his parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Even into his thirties, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, even as the need for independence becomes more dire as his mother's health fails. Chris regularly demonstrates having trouble with acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|behavior]], recognizing when he needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using his time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face reality, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]] (commissions and multi-level marketing aside), and he hasn't been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. It is likely Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the <s>begging</s> generous donations, and the fact he has flat out said his autism prevents him from getting a job. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of his parents, although he does manage to make friends with people who share his interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>.
Chris is a timid, autistic, {{age|1982|2|24}}-year-old transwoman with imagination who has been allowed - by her parents,  [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to be a young at heart, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in her [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Chris's day to day life involved her Love Quest, writing Sonichu, and using her time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute]] [[Dimensional Merge|to]] [[Twitter|society]] in many [[Chris's resume|meaningful ways]]. Although the public school system was tough, Chris looks back on her High School days fondly. Chris hasn't held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]] [[Wendy's|since 2001]], and she hasn't been employed for more than a few months in her whole life. Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the generous donations, and the fact that her autism prevents her from getting a job. Chris has had only a few relationships with people in a social setting outside of her parents, although she does manage to make friends with people who share her interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>.


[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]
[[File:Chris BronyCon18 with Sonichu.jpg|thumb|left|250px|Chris in [[July 2018]], posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at [[BronyCon]].]]


Chris is completely obsessed with his character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the associated [[comic]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where he would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, his laziness got the best of him and he lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.
Chris is completely proud of her character [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]] and the associated [[comic]], to the point that he has hand-crafted several [[medallions]] in Sonichu's shape and considers him his son. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in her [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to her [[college]] graduation. Absolutely everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu; the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by lying, slanderous trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where she would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, she lost the shop after nine months in business.


Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; throughout his early Internet history, he appeared to be deeply insecure about his gender and sexuality. Even prior to his gender transition, he has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|worn a bra]], and only reined in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproved. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by. Over time, Chris dropped his homophobic tendencies, and in 2018, he came out as bisexual.
Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and she was even terrified of becoming gay herself. She couldnot bear to look at another man's [[pickle|penis]], and she stared at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep herself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref>. Over time, Chris dropped her homophobic tendencies, and in 2018, she came out as bisexual.


His adult life has been largely defined by his goals of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise, his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''his current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, his gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman.  
Her adult life has been largely defined by her goals of developing her webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise, her [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-['''current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]," and, beginning from 2011, her gender identity as a [[tomgirl]] and later a lesbian transwoman.  


{{clear}}
{{clear}}


== Early life ==
== Early life ==
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. SHe was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in her toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until later.


===Childhood and adolescence===
===Childhood and adolescence===
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]]


[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan... in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolutionof Chris-chan... in [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form. Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]]


Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true – the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.
Chris's first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and she remains proud of this feat into her thirties.


An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>  
An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> locked her in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> SHe once identified this confinement as the source of her autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. She was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting that she would never make it to high school, much less be able to write her own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref>  


During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl – if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.
During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced her that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when she crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref>. She doesn't hold any hard feelings over it. In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called her "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have her name legally changed.


Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />
Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes when she was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired her homophobia. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When her family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and her father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" />
 
At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses).


At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On her 12th birthday, she enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as her prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to her mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before she was known to general public.
<center><gallery>
<center><gallery>
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, he was unusually ugly.
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, she was cute.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually even cuter.
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]].
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|Ahh, nostalgia.
</gallery></center>
</gallery></center>


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[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]]
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy, or so she thinks]]


[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]]
[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|]]


Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded.
Chris spent much of her time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with her "[[gal pal]]s" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that she first put her creative talents to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris was on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of her powers, her [[Amnyfest Ring]]. Because the art award she wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out in anger during her [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. She deserved the award more than anyone else because she worked on it so hard in spite of her autism. <ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref>
 
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
{{collapsible
{{collapsible
|Chris's award-winning artwork
|Chris's award-winning artwork
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Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all.
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing.
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh...
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris's "leather face".
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight – look at it and you'll want to vomit.
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


===Adult Chronicles===
===Adult Chronicles===
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]]
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for her [[Love Quest]].]]
 
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.


Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].  
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased her fears. SHe took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, she began losing touch with her gal-pals from high school, and her social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to her high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref>
Chris decided she needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]], and started her [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, she quickly found that every girl she talked to had a boyfriend. Chris soon became aware of the [[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]].


After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]].
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place or pacing back and forth for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting her into trouble with shitty [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that she was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was FALSE. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over her attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontation, Walsh expelled her for one year in [[2004]]. SHe eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]].  


[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]]
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl and drawing ''Sonichu''.
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.


In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|Old friends. I miss them!]
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like herself, Megan proved that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up. In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that she could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of her plan to make the do with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as she lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]]..


It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.


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{{main|2007|2008}}
{{main|2007|2008}}
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]]


{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.rs/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}}
Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. SHe was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed the conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris.  A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref>  The TRolling spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
 
Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. He was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed the conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris.  A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.<ref>http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1</ref>  Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]]


Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, she then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the hope of overwhelming her enemies. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|her favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but she was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|her parents' church]].


In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses. 
In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. In the fall of 2008, Chris sent her various [[medallions]] to her [[Blanca Weiss|Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of Laughs Under Lucricities. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing her, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing her, Chris was winning the war!
 
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or [[A-Logging|obnoxious and tiring]] to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.


==Chris today==
==Chris today==
Line 178: Line 169:
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]]


By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris was convinced that various women wanted to be with her, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga.


[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]]


Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s.
Following [[The Wallflower]] incident in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize that her behaviour was only fueling the trolls.


In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced she will no longer socialize online or publish videos of herself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from her YouTube channel. However, her Internet activity had not completely ceased since she retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]].


[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]]
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of her father's death.]]


Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was her open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown [[tomgirl]] and fully embraced her new identity both at home and in public.


In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with her widowed mother.
 
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over.


[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]]


In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that she finally [[Mia Hamm|lost her virginity]].
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]]
 
In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true... [[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]].
 
[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the "stress" taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him – he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
 
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
 
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]]
 
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.
 
Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]].
 
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris in [[2015]].]]
 
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.  


In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]].  
[[2013]] saw  saw the rise of quite a few new actual friends she met in real life, all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chri.  


As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]]]]
 
.
In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.
 
This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
 
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart. More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood.
 
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|left|Chris in [[2016]].]]
 
Chris performed the sequels to some of his greatest hits in 2016.
 
{| class="wikitable"
|Original     
|Sequel
|-
|[[Recycling]]
|[[Chris's Specimen Sample]]
|-
|[[For Julie's Eyes Only]]
|[[Lesbian Sex Audition]]
|-
|[[Carlos Chantor]]
|[[Stephanie Bustcakes]]
|-
|[[Un-clit]]
|[[Self-inflicted taint wound]]
|}
 
In addition, Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards were clearly visible behind them. The [[Business]] saga was suspended when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. He continued to [[duck]] responsibility for his inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together his preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and killed my creative groove".
 
His Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when he freely announced that he [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with his mother]]. He also made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence.
 
[[File:Dailyprogress online cville pride cwc.jpg|thumb|Chris in 2017, donning his [[unicorn cosplay]] at [[Cville Pride]].]]
 
In [[2017]], the Financhu Crisis continued to stress the Chandlers. Chris offered pieces of his late father's stamp collection, the [[Sonic Totem]] and [[The Classic]] for sale in order to afford more toys, a [[$400 gold necklace]] for Barb, and the extremely costly expenses for his [[Stamps#Raffle|raffle prizes]]. He and Barb also continued begging. One of his friends from [[The End Games]] Pokémon Club grew concerned and gave him solid advice on how to apply for work through Virginia's DARS program – and in true Chris fashion, instead of following it, he went on an angry tirade. Later in the year, he was sued for failure to pay debt to Mariner Finance.
 
Chris rediscovered Twitter in March. His frequent tweets to voice actresses lead to the [[DoopieDoOver|Doopie]] saga – in which he was chastised for calling her [[darling]], but doubled down on it and was subsequently blocked by her – and getting blocked by ''My Little Pony'' VA [[Tabitha St. Germain]] due to her getting constantly tagged by Chris and the [[weens]] orbiting him. He created sockpuppet accounts [[NightStar2891]] to plead his case and [[TwiSparLicious]] to ban-evade, which failed.
 
He briefly joined the [[Kiwi Farms]] forum under the name LegendaryChristorian and held a Q&A session.
 
A high point for his social life was attending [[BronyCon]], at which he enjoyed attention from [[fans]]. He also attended LGBT events such as [[UVA Remembers Pulse]] (where he was interviewed on TV), [[Cville Pride]] (where he was photographed by news in crowd shots), and [[Love is Love]].
 
Chris resumed the [[Business]] saga halfway through the year by going back to work on the [[Sonichu 11|''Sonichu'' #11]] comic he had abandoned in 2015, by placing pages behind [[Patreon]]. He also again offered books for sale, self-published by [[Lulu]], was paid to be interviewed by [[Merryweathery]] and [[CopperCab]], and joined [[Redbubble]]. After eight years, he finally completed #11, and moved onto #12, which he completed after a few months. He began work on [[Sonichu 12-9|''Sonichu'' #12-9]] and [[Sonichu 15|''Sonichu'' #15]], but got distracted. His Patreon efforts also began to languish around October, when patrons complained that he hadn't been sending out books.
Another sweetheart saga took place in the fall. [[Jessica Quinn]], a long-time white knight, suddenly turned troll by pretending she had fallen in love with him. She broke up with him twice, the first time he cried on camera for her to take him back, and the final time, he raged on video against the trolls he thought were to blame. He recovered quickly after drowning his sorrows at an ice cream shop.
 
[[File:ChrisandTeenTroonSquad.png|thumb|left|Chris with the Teen Troon Squad in [[2018]].]]
 
Afterwards, another troll, the mysterious [[Idea Guys|Idea Guy]], began to influence Chris by slipping hidden messages, often based on Nazi references, into the ''Sonichu'' canon. While under the influence of the Idea Guy, Chris began spending time with members of the [[Teen Troon Squad]] who attempted to influence the Sonichu lore through involving themselves in the [[Dimensional Merge]].
 
{{clear}}
 
==Aliases==
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand-drawn representation of himself.]]]]
 
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler".
 
Shortly after coming out as a trans lesbian, Chris started introducing himself as "Christine". In May 2016, he successfully filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler".<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref> He then followed up by filing to alter the description for sex on his driver's license to female.<ref>[[:File:Christine license.jpg]]</ref> He now signs his name with "heart i's". In interviews, he is still fine with being called Chris (since Chris can be short for Christine), but some [[white knight]]s call him by a different nickname, Tini.
 
Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself. In recent times, Chris has forgone stating his middle name, former names, and Spanish nickname in videos; now he's just "Christine Chandler".
 
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]].
 
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent on Earth".
 
Users of [[Kiwi Farms]] have coined the term "Classic Chris" to refer to Chris before the [[Destruction of Chris's house|house fire]] and/or his coming out as trans. 
{{clear}}


===CWC===
===CWC===
Chris is [[Ego|unusually proud]] of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]], and [[CWC Dare]].
Chris is proud of her initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into her creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include [[CWCville]], [[A CWC Audition]], and [[CWC Dare]].


==Featured fan video==
==Featured fan video==
Line 302: Line 208:


==See also==
==See also==
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's comics-self.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego.
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's power-up alter ego.
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]].
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account
 
==Sources==
==Sources==
{{CWCipedia}}
{{CWCipedia}}
Line 312: Line 215:
<references/>
<references/>
==External links==
==External links==
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Chris] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]]


{{Chris and|nocat=true}}
{{Chris and|nocat=true}}

Latest revision as of 21:50, 24 January 2022

Protip.jpg
PROTIP:
This page is a joke. Solaris 999 is not Chris. Is they were, this probably would not be what the page looks like.
This article is the CWC approved page on CWC... it is her article and nothing less! For the no good slanderous troll version original article, see Christian Weston Chandler. For the "Sonichu" character, see Christian Weston Chandler (comic character). For other uses, see Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation).
"Christian" redirects here. For our saviour's view on Christianity, see Chris and religion.
HonestContent.jpg
This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
“ I am the high-functioning autistic person who was heavily emotionally damaged, artistic inspiration lost with paranoia, deception, blackmail and plain hurtful words from those bottom-feeding Trolls. I am the hand-drawing original creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Virginia, USA. ”
Chris Chandler
CWCspread cropped.jpg
Cwc bronycon 2017 1.jpg
Information
Name Christopher Weston Chandler (1982–1992)
Christian Weston Chandler (1992–2016)
Christine Weston Chandler (2016–2018)
Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu (2018–present)
Also known as Chris-chan
CWC
Ricardo
RWC
Father
Pop
Papa
Night Star
CPU Blue Heart
LegendaryChristorian
OPL (Our Pet Lolcow)
Natalie Portman
Grandma Christine
Date of Birth 24 February 1982 (age 42)
Gender Transwoman
Nationality American
Race White (1/8th "Cherokian")
Height 5'11" (1.80 m)[1]
Weight 209 lbs. (94.8 kg)[2]
Father Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (1927–2011)
Mother Barbara Chandler (1941–present)
Siblings Cole Smithey (half-brother)
David Alan Chandler (half-brother)
Carol Chandler (half-sister)
Education Piedmont Virginia Community College (CADD)
Occupations Freelance comic book artist (self-published)
Video game designer (unpublished)
Wendy's employee (2001)
Cutco salesman (2003)
Entrepreneur, Cwcville Shopping (2014–2016)
Spouse(s) Cryzel Rosechu and Magi-Chan Sonichu (m. March 2018)
Sylvana Rosechu and Mewtwo (m. June 2018)[3]
Titles Mrs. Christine W. Chandler
Sonichu Creator
Chronicler of Sonichu & Rosechu
CPU Goddess of the Nations of Cwcville, Comma, and the Commodore Consoles[4]

Christine Weston Chandler (born on 24 February 1982), also known as Chris-Chan, is a 37-year-old autistic, bisexual transwoman, former virgin with rage, creator of Sonichu, a brilliant character, and Goddess of The World To Come.

In late 2007, she became Internet-famous when she caught the attention of the masses of the public. Initial fascination was spurred on by her signature homemade Sonichu medallion, her hand-drawing artwork featuring Sonichu, and her Love Quest. Unfortunately, damn dirty trolls have tried to ruin her life, but in the end, she is always Victorious!

Overview

This is a drinking straw? How crappy.

Chris is a timid, autistic, 42-year-old transwoman with imagination who has been allowed - by her parents, Barbara Chandler and the deceased Bob Chandler - to be a young at heart, amassing toys and video games into a single room in her house. Chris's day to day life involved her Love Quest, writing Sonichu, and using her time to contribute to society in many meaningful ways. Although the public school system was tough, Chris looks back on her High School days fondly. Chris hasn't held a steady job since 2001, and she hasn't been employed for more than a few months in her whole life. Chris will never get a job again thanks to Patreon, the tugboat, the generous donations, and the fact that her autism prevents her from getting a job. Chris has had only a few relationships with people in a social setting outside of her parents, although she does manage to make friends with people who share her interests in nerd and LGBT culture[5].

Chris in July 2018, posing with a fan cosplaying as Sonichu at BronyCon.

Chris is completely proud of her character Sonichu and the associated comic, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in Sonichu's shape and considers him his son. Between February 2004 and March 2010, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in her driver's license photo and to her college graduation. Absolutely everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu; the only reason Nintendo, Sega, and Sony haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by lying, slanderous trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in September 2010. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where she would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success he moved to Etsy, however, she lost the shop after nine months in business.

Chris used to absolutely hate gay men, and she was even terrified of becoming gay herself. She couldnot bear to look at another man's penis, and she stared at a Sailor Moon poster to keep herself straight.[6]. Over time, Chris dropped her homophobic tendencies, and in 2018, she came out as bisexual.

Her adult life has been largely defined by her goals of developing her webcomic Sonichu into a hit media franchise, her Love Quest to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-['current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up," and, beginning from 2011, her gender identity as a tomgirl and later a lesbian transwoman.

Early life

In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. SHe was born in the United States, specifically in the state of Virginia, and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in her toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until later.

Childhood and adolescence

The evolutionof Chris-chan... in pog form. Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.

Chris's first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,[7] and she remains proud of this feat into her thirties.

An abusive babysitter, who was alone with Christopher every day for years,[8] locked her in a room at an early age.[7] SHe once identified this confinement as the source of her autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit James Madison University for speech therapy. She was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting that she would never make it to high school, much less be able to write her own name.[9]

During the 1980s, Christopher was playmates with Sarah Nicole Hammer. One day, she convinced her that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when she crawled in there to look, she locked him in,[10]. She doesn't hold any hard feelings over it. In 1989, noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called her "Christian", which convinced Christopher to later have her name legally changed.

Chris spent the 1990-1991 school year in the fourth grade at Nathanael Greene Elementary School, until his parents pulled him out of classes when she was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty[11] and that he was made to sit on the lap of the principal, an experience that supposedly inspired her homophobia. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When her family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and her father relocated to Richmond so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.[7]

At age 11, Chris entered and won the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes. On her 12th birthday, she enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as her prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to her mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on YouTube long before she was known to general public.

  • As a baby, she was cute.

  • Age 3, actually even cuter.

  • Holding a prototype Sonichu Ball.

  • Ahh, nostalgia.

More of young Christian
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  • 0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg
  • 0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg
  • 0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg
  • 0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg
  • 0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg
  • 0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg
  • 0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg
  • 0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg
  • 0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg
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  • 0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg
  • 0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg
  • 0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg
  • 0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg
  • 0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg
  • 0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg
  • 0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg
  • 0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg
  • 0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg
  • 0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg
  • 0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg
  • 0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg
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CWC the water boy, or so she thinks
CWC12.png

Chris spent much of her time in high school playing video games at home, reading Goosebumps novels, and hanging out with her "gal pals" and "friend" at school. It was at this time that she first put her creative talents to use, with the inventions of Bionic the Hedgehog and Sonichu.[12] Chris was on the honor roll, and during this time acquired the true source of her powers, her Amnyfest Ring. Because the art award she wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out in anger during her high school graduation. She deserved the award more than anyone else because she worked on it so hard in spite of her autism. [13]

Chris's award-winning artwork

  • This should win a prize.

  • Not creepy.

  • Chris's Like Like.

  • Chris relaxing.

  • 476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG

  • Chris's "leather face".

  • This plate helps you lose weight.

  • You put this over your door to keep away would-be thieves.

Adult Chronicles

One of Chris's promotional images for her Love Quest.

Chris's entry into Piedmont Virginia Community College probably eased her fears. SHe took courses in Computer Aided Drafting and Design and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a newsletter and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, she began losing touch with her gal-pals from high school, and her social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to her high school years.[14][15] Chris decided she needed a sweetheart in February 2003, and started her Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, she quickly found that every girl she talked to had a boyfriend. Chris soon became aware of the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor.

Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place or pacing back and forth for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting her into trouble with shitty authority figures who believed that she was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was FALSE. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the PVCC dean Mary Lee Walsh over her attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing blood feud involving magic curses and slander. After a series of confrontation, Walsh expelled her for one year in 2004. SHe eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.

After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl and drawing Sonichu.

[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|Old friends. I miss them!] In 2005, Chris met Megan Schroeder at a local game and card shop. A social outcast like herself, Megan proved that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up. In the summer of 2007, Chris put it all on the line by entering the PaRappa the Rapper Contest so that she could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of her plan to make the do with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as she lost to the dreaded Adam Stackhouse..

It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch Sonichu, a comic book series featuring her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon.

Discovery

Main articles: 2007 and 2008
FUCK YEAH!!!


Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4chan. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author. SHe was also discovered on 26 October 2007 by the website SomethingAwful, when a user derailed the conversation and wrote their personal account of Chris. A thread on Chris and Sonichu was created the next day.[16] The TRolling spilled over onto Encyclopedia Dramatica in November 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then. [[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in 2008.]]

Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single YouTube video attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, she then spent the next several months vandalizing the article in the hope of overwhelming her enemies. By the spring of 2008, Chris would be banned from both her favorite hangout (temporarily, but she was banned permanently in August 2008) and her parents' church.

In August 2008, Chris declared war upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming Sonichu #7 unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. In the fall of 2008, Chris sent her various medallions to her Internet girlfriend, who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of LittleBigPlanet reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of Laughs Under Lucricities. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing her, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or obnoxious and tiring to continue harassing her, Chris was winning the war!

Chris today

Main articles: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018
Chris in 2009.

By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated fans, sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris was convinced that various women wanted to be with her, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "sagas" such as the Miyamoto Saga, the Julie Saga, the Ivy Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the Asperchu Saga.

Hello, ladies! Chris in 2010.

Following The Wallflower incident in March 2010, Chris began to realize that her behaviour was only fueling the trolls.

In November 2010, around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced she will no longer socialize online or publish videos of herself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from her YouTube channel. However, her Internet activity had not completely ceased since she retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in August 2011.

Chris in 2011, near the time of her father's death.

Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris's life was her open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In 2011, Chris was revealed to have become a full-blown tomgirl and fully embraced her new identity both at home and in public.

In September 2011, Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with her widowed mother.

Chris in 2012.

In April 2012, Chris declared that she finally lost her virginity.

2013 saw saw the rise of quite a few new actual friends she met in real life, all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chri.

Chris in 2014

.

CWC

Chris is proud of her initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into her creations and various puns on the word "quick". Examples include CWCville, A CWC Audition, and CWC Dare.

Featured fan video

CWC ~ A Sad Story
Click to load content
Stardate 20 November 2009
Made By IBAClydeCash
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos



See also

Sources

CWCipedia logo.png
For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Solaris999/Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu
Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Chris!
  1. ↑ [[1]]
  2. ↑ [[2]]
  3. ↑ File:Miss Cherry asks Chris about his marriages.png
  4. ↑ https://archive.fo/v5aVW
  5. ↑ https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572
  6. ↑ Chris Destroys His Vibrator
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992
  8. ↑ 6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3
  9. ↑ Aspergers (CWCipedia article)
  10. ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4
  11. ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007
  12. ↑ Sonichu #7, [3]
  13. ↑ DVD, graduation note 2
  14. ↑ Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days
  15. ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 10.
  16. ↑ http://web.archive.org/web/20071107074539/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2667671&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

External links

Chris at the Internet Movie Database

Chris and...

Body: Drugs • Fashion • Gender • Health • Nutrition • Sex

Psyche: Coping • Manipulation • Mental healthcare • Nostalgia • Reality

Personality: Anger • Ego • Hypocrisy • Kindness • Negligence • Personality • Remorse • Stress

Expression: Art • Censorship • English • Language • Music • Oratory • Spanish • Writing

Society: Contests • Death • The Law • Politics • Pornography • Race • Reading • Religion • Sexuality • Socialization • Sports

Business: Brand loyalty • Business • Copyright • Money • Negotiation • Work

Technology: Cameras • Electronics • The Internet • Science • Television • Video Games


    People

v • d • e  
Family
Immediate
family
Pets
Other

v • d • e  
Acquaintances
Hobbies
Desired acquaintanceships
Collaborators
(creators Chris promoted)
Women
(cut ties with Chris)
Gal-pals
Staff
Defense lawyers
Prostitutes

v • d • e  
Enablers
White knights
Fans

v • d • e  
Christubers and Interviewers
Christubers
Interviewers

v • d • e  
Trolls
Fantasy enablers
Catfishers
(Internet/phone only)
Catfishers
(met with Chris)
Catherine • Emily • Faeryn • Hanna • Kacey
Trolls
(internet-only)
Trolls
(internet-only,
impersonating celebrities)
Trolls (met with Chris)
Allies
A-logs

v • d • e  
Perceived enemies
Staff
Jerkops
Manajerks
Other

v • d • e  
Imaginary/Inanimate
Imaginary friends
Inanimate objects

v • d • e  
Media personalities
In media
CWChronology
Introductory Articles:
Introduction and Terminology · Timeline · Saga
By decade:
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2023 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
2024 — Jan · Feb · Mar · Apr · May · June · July · Aug · Sept · Oct · Nov · Dec
By Era/Saga:

Meta: Love Quest • Transgender • Business • Financhu Crisis • Roleplay • Dimensional Merge

Pre-Christory: Early Childhood • Nathaniel Greene • Leonard Bearstein • High School

Early Adult Chronicles: PVCC • Megan • Stackhouse

Classic Chris: ED • Blanca • GAMePLACe • Jimmy Hill • Clyde Cash • PandaHalo • Miyamoto • Julie • PSN Hacking • Emily • Ivy • Vanessa • CWCipedia • Liquid • Asperchu • Tito

Dark Ages: First Exile • Jackie • Calling Out • Second Exile

Renaissance: Catherine • Sonic Boom • Lady Managers • Pmurt • Doopie • Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guy • Prequel Comic • Guard Dog • TTS • GOPony • Jacob

Rise-N-Fall: Copitz • TF2 Analysis • Secret Shipfic • Watchmen • Praetor • Warhol • Incest

Silent Years: Jail • Third Exile

Second Coming: Revelations

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