Christian Weston Chandler
- This article is about Chris himself... It is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see Christian Weston Chandler (comic character). For other uses, see Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation).
- "Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see Chris and religion.
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| Chandler Family | |
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| Christian Weston Chandler | |
| Birth Name | Christopher Weston Chandler |
| Full Name | "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler |
| Nicknames | Chris-chan Chris Chan Ricardo Weston Chandler CWC Ian Brandon Anderson Solid Chris Junior Jenkins Carlos Chantor KookyDashy Kaka Apple Chrissy |
| Date of Birth | 24 February 1982 (age 32) |
| Gender | Male (1982–2011) Tomgirl (2011–c2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/Lesbian Identified Male (2014-) |
| Nationality | American |
| Race | White |
| Height | Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)[1][2] |
| Weight | Self-reported 216 lbs. (98.2 kg) |
| Parents | Bob (deceased) Barbara |
| Education | Piedmont Virginia Community College (CADD) |
| Occupation(s) | Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) Wendy's employee (2001) Cutco salesman (2003) Male escort (2010, unpaid) |
| “ | I am the high-functioning autistic person who was heavily emotionally damaged, artistic inspiration lost with paranoia, deception, blackmail and plain hurtful words from those bottom-feeding Trolls. I am the hand-drawing original creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Virginia, USA. | ” |
| KookyDashy, aka Chris[3] | ||
Christian Weston Chandler (born Christopher Weston Chandler on 24 February 1982) is a high-functioning adult autistic child, thirty-two-year-old, former virgin with rage, and creator of the infamous Sonichu, a crossover of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu. Christian also stars alongside his original creations in his own self-titled online comic book.
His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic Sonichu into a hit media franchise and his Love Quest to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-[my current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up."
In late 2007, he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade Sonichu medallion in public, his childlike artwork featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a sign asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing still more disturbing facts about him.
Aliases
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but changed to "Christian" at the behest of the "bear conductor". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".
Chris's nickname in his high school Spanish classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, named Chris-Chan Sonichu.
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by Arjen Van Dierten) and Ian Brandon Anderson (popularized by Liquid Chris). Less notably, there is also the seldom-used "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a certain video game series.
Overview
Chris is a timid, autistic, man with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler - to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single room in his parents' house. Now thirty-two years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as "you must bathe regularly," "you cannot loiter in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you," and "you should use the washroom if you think you may soil yourself." Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Christian to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady job, or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Christian's main impressions of people now come from the trolls and white knights he meets online.
Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2010, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his driver's license photo and to his college graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason Nintendo, Sega, and Sony haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that his chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in September 2010.
Chris absolutely hates gay men, and communicates this with such intensity that observers are easily convinced he's simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's penis, and he stares at Sailor Moon to keep himself straight.[4] Chris' words do not always align with his actions; Christian appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has swallowed his own semen, wears a bra, and only reins in his tendency to proudly cross-dress because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Christian's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seems to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of Family Guy.[5] However, his homophobia does not extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
Early life
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the United States, specifically in the state of Virginia, and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.
Childhood and adolescence
Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at six weeks old,[6] and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true - the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at six weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.
An abusive babysitter, who was alone with Christopher every day for years,[7] allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.[6] Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact the he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of one and seven, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit James Madison University for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.[8]
During the 1980s, Christopher was playmates with Sarah Nicole Hammer. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,[9] beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl—if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In 1989, noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.
Chris spent the 1990-1991 school year in the fourth grade at Nathanael Greene Elementary School, until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty[10] and that he was made to sit on the lap of the principal, an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the fifth grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to Richmond so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.[6]
At age 11, Chris entered and won the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes. On his twelfth birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. Local news coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on YouTube long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys and video games at the expense of more mature pursuits. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners when he loses).
Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from Braindead.
Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid.
Holding a prototype Sonichu ball.
Chris's taste in clown shirts begins, coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" stare.
| More of young Christian |
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Chris spent much of his time in high school playing video games at home, reading R.L. Stine horror novels, and hanging out with his "gal pals" and "friend" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of Bionic the Hedgehog and Sonichu.[11] Chris claims to have been on the honor roll, and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his high school ring.
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out cried during his high school graduation. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.[12] Evidently, this fear was unfounded.
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
| Chris's award-winning art work |
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Adult Chronicles
Chris's entry into Piedmont Virginia Community College probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in Computer Aided Drafting and Design and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a newsletter and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.[13][14]
Chris says he decided he needed a sweetheart in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend Sarah Hammer had begun dating Wes Iseli, Chris started his Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the PVCC dean Mary Lee Walsh over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving magic powers and slander. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in 2004. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing Sonichu, masturbating, and using his welfare money to buy video games and sex toys.
In 2005, Chris met Megan Schroeder at a local game and card shop. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than five minutes. The two quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and anime, believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.
In the summer of 2007, Chris put it all on the line by entering the PaRappa the Rapper Contest so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded Adam Stackhouse and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch Sonichu, a comic book series featuring his Electric-Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad romantic misadventures.
Discovery
| “ | Geez, when you have me facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off. | ” |
| David Gonterman on Chris. | ||
Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4chan. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto Encyclopedia Dramatica in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
Upon learning of the "Chris-chan" article on ED, Chris released a single YouTube video attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months vandalizing the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the trolls, revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of 2008 Chris would be banned from both his favorite hangout (temporarily. But he was banned permanently in August 2008) and his parents' church for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.
In August 2008, Chris declared war upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming Sonichu #7 unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various medallions to his fake Internet girlfriend, who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of LittleBigPlanet reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of lulz. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was lulzy or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as this one singularly devoted to trolling Chris), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.
Chris today
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated fans, sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and naïveté readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "sagas" such as the Miyamoto Saga, the Julie Saga, the Ivy Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the Asperchu Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.
Following his disastrous failure to woo a real girl in March 2010, Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and striped shirts.
In November 2010, around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in August 2011.
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In 2011, Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "tomgirl", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behaviour with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behaviour seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).
In September 2011, Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the tugboat is his only source of income. Since his mother Barbara is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
In October 2011, Chris and Barb were arrested at The GAMe PLACe and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with Michael Snyder. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
In April 2012, Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity. This was later confirmed to be true... at the hands of a prostitute. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with the law.
2013 saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on Facebook and Twitter, as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from one of his favorite shows, upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a Wal-Mart for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health (this, at least, is evident) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behaviour coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realise.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterised by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behaviour.
At first, it seemed that 2014 would just be business as usual. That is, until January 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him setting his own house on fire. Luckily, no-one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily move out and trash a different house. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's vast hoard of stupid shit. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection.
Since then, Chris and his mother have been having acute financial difficulties, and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of narcissism, selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on children's toys. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't bail him out of, and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. But probably not.
More curiously, Chris began identifying as a lesbian in August 2014, and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (very reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own penis, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of penises in general.
As of September, he's claiming to have a girlfriend. Let's see how long this lasts.
As of the present day, Chris is swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBT events around Charlottesville, mingling with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracised from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.
Featured fan video
| CWC ~ A Sad Story | |
| Stardate | 20 November 2009 |
| Made By | IBAClydeCash |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
See also
- Christian Weston Chandler (comic character) - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
- Chris-chan Sonichu - Chris's furry alter ego.
- Hundreds of personal photographs assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical DVD.
- User:GodofThunderGodofWar - Chris's own CWCki account!
References
- ↑ Match.com#Profile text
- ↑ The Hook Cafe#Characteristics
- ↑ Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)
- ↑ Chris Destroys His Vibrator
- ↑ CWC with Bible - Leviticus
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992
- ↑ 6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3
- ↑ Aspergers (CWCipedia article)
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4
- ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007
- ↑ Sonichu #7, [1]
- ↑ DVD, graduation note 2
- ↑ Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 10.
External links
Christian Weston Chandler at the Internet Movie Database
| Chris and... |
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