Difference between revisions of "Christian Weston Chandler"
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:''This article is about | :''This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>'' | ||
:''" | :''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].'' | ||
{{Articleofthenow}} | {{Articleofthenow}} | ||
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| colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]] | | colspan="2" | [[Image:0782-CWCSpread.JPG|300px]] | ||
|- | |- | ||
! colspan="2" | | ! colspan="2" |Christian Weston Chandler | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Birth Name''' | | '''Birth Name''' | ||
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|- | |- | ||
| '''Full Name''' | | '''Full Name''' | ||
| | | "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Nicknames''' | | '''Nicknames''' | ||
| | | Chris-chan<br>Chris Chan<br>[[Spanish|Ricardo Weston Chandler]]<br>CWC<br>[[Ian Brandon Anderson]]<br>Solid Chris<br>[[JenkinsJinkies|Junior Jenkins]]<br>[[Carlos Chantor]]<br> [[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]] <br> [[Jackie E-mails 24|Kaka Apple Chrissy]] <br> Christine Weston Chandler <br> [[June 2015 Facebook Posts#Wordplay|Ht Wto Hd]] <br> Fat-Ass | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Date of Birth''' | | '''Date of Birth''' | ||
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{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}} | {{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the [[The Wall of Originals|hand-drawing original]] [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}} | ||
''' | '''Christian Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]], and currently '''Christine Weston Chandler''') is a [[Asperger's|high-functioning]] [[This_is_how_the_Trial_went#The_Trial.|adult autistic child]], 33-year-old, former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], a crossover of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Pokémon|Pikachu]]. Chris also stars alongside his [[Chris and copyright|original creations]] in his own self-titled online comic book. | ||
His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." | His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and his [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''my current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." | ||
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[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]] | [[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of himself.]]]] | ||
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick". | |||
Chris's nickname in his high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself. | |||
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine". | |||
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. | |||
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==Overview== | |||
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of himself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]] | |||
Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman (even though he has only replaced his hormones as of now) with [[Chris and his ego|delusional tendencies]] who has been allowed - by his parents, [[Bob Chandler]] and [[Barbara Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in [[Borb|his parents]]' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as [[Chris and health#Hygiene|bathing]] regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you, and using the bathroom if you think you may have [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|soiled yourself]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the [[trolls]] and [[white knights]] he meets online. | |||
Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to his [[college]] graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. | |||
Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's [[pickle]], and he stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep himself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys His Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has [[recycling|swallowed his own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in his [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== Early life == | |||
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid. | |||
===Childhood and adolescence=== | |||
[[Image:Lapse.gif|left]] | |||
[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]] | |||
Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords. | |||
An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> | |||
During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance). | |||
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed. | |||
Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that he was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> | |||
At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a Fat-Ass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when he loses). | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braindead_%28film%29 Braindead]''. | |||
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid. | |||
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu ball]]. | |||
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]]. | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
{{collapsible | |||
|More of young Christian | |||
|<gallery> | |||
Image:0005-ChristopherWBigShirt.jpg | |||
Image:0006-Christopher6-1986.jpg | |||
Image:0007-Christopher12-1986.jpg | |||
Image:0010-ChristopherChristmas1.jpg | |||
Image:0013-ChristopherWFivel.jpg | |||
Image:0015-ChristopherWPillow.jpg | |||
Image:0016-ChristopherByTV.jpg | |||
Image:0017-Christopher'sFavoriteChair.jpg | |||
Image:0018-ChristopherWRootBeer1.jpg | |||
Image:0019-ChristopherWRootBeer2.jpg | |||
Image:0020-ChristopherWCar1.jpg | |||
Image:0021-ChristopherWCar2.jpg | |||
Image:0022-ChristopherWithWhat1.jpg | |||
Image:0023-ChristopherWithWhat2.jpg | |||
Image:0024-ChristopherTurns5.jpg | |||
Image:0030-ChristopherWSunglasses.jpg | |||
Image:0031-1-Chris on Pony.jpg | |||
Image:0035-ChritopherArmPaint.jpg | |||
Image:0044-YoungChristopher1.jpg | |||
Image:0047-ChristopherApr1991.jpg | |||
Image:0048-1-Sad Chris.jpg | |||
Image:0048-ChristopherSept1991.jpg | |||
Image:0049-ChristopherFacePaint.jpg | |||
Image:0059-ChristopherWBat.jpg | |||
Image:0072-Chrisian&Santa.jpg | |||
Image:0076-ChristianWTrain.jpg | |||
Image:0086-Christmas95-1.jpg | |||
Image:0087-Christmas95-2.jpg | |||
Image:0088-Christmas95-3.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
[[Image:0240-ChristianCBBall97.jpg|120px|thumb|left|CWC the water boy. PRO TIP: Don't drink anything from one of Chris's [[fapcup|cups]].]] | |||
[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]] | |||
Chris spent much of his time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with his "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his [[amnyfest ring]]. | |||
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded. | |||
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-warp]], as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him. | |||
{{collapsible | |||
|Chris's award-winning art work | |||
|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
Image:444-MecheFox.JPG|This should win a prize. | |||
Image:445-SonicTotem.JPG|Not creepy. | |||
Image:470-CWCCoilPot.JPG|Chris's Like Like. | |||
Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all. | |||
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh... | |||
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this his "leather face". Apparently, he's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''. | |||
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit. | |||
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves. | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
===Adult Chronicles=== | |||
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for his [[Love Quest]].]] | |||
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref> | |||
Chris says he decided he needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started his [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them. | |||
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in [[2004]]. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. | |||
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using his [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. | |||
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|He can smell fear.]] | |||
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her. | |||
In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won. | |||
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==Discovery== | |||
{{main|2007|2008}} | |||
[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]] | |||
{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}} | |||
Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then. | |||
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]] | |||
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan]] that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|his favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|his parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article. | |||
In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless his vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses. | |||
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various [[medallions]] to his [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks. | |||
==Chris today== | |||
{{main|2008|2009|2010|2011|2012|2013|2014|2015}} | |||
[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]] | |||
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history. | |||
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]] | |||
Following his disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. | |||
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]]. | |||
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of his father's death.]] | |||
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below). | |||
In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account. | |||
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over. | |||
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]] | |||
In [[October 2011]], Chris and Barb were [[28 October 2011|arrested]] at [[The GAMe PLACe]] and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with [[Michael Snyder]]. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer. | |||
[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]] | |||
In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that he finally [[Mia Hamm|lost his virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]]. | |||
[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of his favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize. | |||
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior. | |||
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], his long, lank, thin hair receding in earnest.]] | |||
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting his own house on fire]]. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection. | |||
Since then, Chris and his mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail him]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]]. | |||
[[File:ChrisMugshot.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, as he enters [[2015]].]] | |||
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general. | |||
In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]]. | |||
As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur. | |||
In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July. | |||
This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulting an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try. | |||
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart. | |||
More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
==Featured fan video== | |||
{{Infobox/Fanvideo | |||
| name = CWC ~ A Sad Story | |||
| video = {{#ev:youtube|DxAhBoYfWy4}} | |||
| Stardate = 20 November 2009 | |||
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash] | |||
| Subject = | |||
| Video Type = | |||
| Other Info = | |||
}} | |||
==See also== | |||
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics. | |||
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego. | |||
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]. | |||
* [[User:GodofThunderGodofWar]] - Chris's own CWCki account | |||
==Sources== | |||
{{CWCipedia}} | |||
{{Fan Art|chris=Chris fan art|linkname=Chris}} | |||
<references/> | |||
==External links== | |||
[http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4813395/ Christian Weston Chandler] at the [[Wikipedia:Internet Movie Database|Internet Movie Database]] | |||
{{Chris and|nocat=true}} | |||
{{People}} | |||
{{Timeline|nocat=true}} | |||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Chandler, Christian Weston}} | |||
[[Category:Family Members]] | |||
[[Category:Real people who have appeared in Sonichu comics]] | |||
[[Category:Things Chris has had Sex with]] | |||
[[Category:Homos]] |
Revision as of 19:59, 21 June 2015
- This article is about Chris himself...it is his article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see Christian Weston Chandler (comic character). For other uses, see Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation).
- "Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see Chris and religion.
This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
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Chandler Family | |
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Christian Weston Chandler | |
Birth Name | Christopher Weston Chandler |
Full Name | "Christopher" Christian "Ricardo" Weston Chandler |
Nicknames | Chris-chan Chris Chan Ricardo Weston Chandler CWC Ian Brandon Anderson Solid Chris Junior Jenkins Carlos Chantor KookyDashy Kaka Apple Chrissy Christine Weston Chandler Ht Wto Hd Fat-Ass |
Date of Birth | 24 February 1982 (age 42) |
Gender | Male (1982–present) Tomgirl (2011-present) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/Lesbian-Identified Male (2014-2015) Female/Lesbian (2015-present) |
Nationality | American |
Race | White |
Height | Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)[1][2] |
Weight | Self-reported 216 lbs. (98.2 kg) |
Parents | Bob (deceased) Barbara |
Education | Piedmont Virginia Community College (CADD) |
Occupation(s) | Freelance comic book artist/writer/videogame designer (unpublished) Wendy's employee (2001) Cutco salesman (2003) Male escort (2010, unpaid) |
“ | I am the high-functioning autistic person who was heavily emotionally damaged, artistic inspiration lost with paranoia, deception, blackmail and plain hurtful words from those bottom-feeding Trolls. I am the hand-drawing original creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Virginia, USA. | ” |
KookyDashy, aka Chris[3] |
Christian Weston Chandler (born Christopher Weston Chandler on 24 February 1982, and currently Christine Weston Chandler) is a high-functioning adult autistic child, 33-year-old, former virgin with rage, and creator of the infamous Sonichu, a crossover of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu. Chris also stars alongside his original creations in his own self-titled online comic book.
His adult life has been largely defined by his goal of developing his webcomic Sonichu into a hit media franchise and his Love Quest to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-[my current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up."
In late 2007, he became Internet-famous when he caught the attention of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. The initial fascination was spurred on by his willingness to wear a homemade Sonichu medallion in public, his childlike artwork featuring his unoriginal Sonic recolor, and his history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a sign asking women to talk to him. His reaction to the ensuing mockery led to even greater scrutiny of his life, revealing more disturbing facts about him.
Aliases
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names he has given himself. He was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but changed to "Christian" at the behest of the "mall conductor bear". In either case, he answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to himself by his full name, or if he's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". He is unusually proud of his initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into his creations and various puns on the word "quick".
Chris's nickname in his high school Spanish classes was "Ricardo", and to this day he translates his own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to his ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times he will literally announce himself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify himself.
When Chris revealed he wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, he began calling himself "Christine".
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of his characters to refer to himself, most notably his evil twin, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, and of course, Sonichu. In his comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, named Chris-Chan Sonichu.
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which he did not himself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by Arjen Van Dierten) and Ian Brandon Anderson (popularized by Liquid Chris). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate him from Liquid in the tradition of a certain video game series.
Overview
Chris is a timid, autistic transwoman (even though he has only replaced his hormones as of now) with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by his parents, Bob Chandler and Barbara Chandler - to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single room in his parents' house. Now 33 years old, he is so comfortable in his protected existence that he refuses to conform to the norms of society, such as bathing regularly, not loitering in a store all day waiting for people to talk to you, and using the bathroom if you think you may have soiled yourself. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady job, or even been employed for more than a few months in his whole life. Nor has he had many meaningful relationships with people in a social setting. Chris's main impressions of people now come from the trolls and white knights he meets online.
Chris is completely obsessed with his character Sonichu, to the point that he has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2010, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in his driver's license photo and to his college graduation. At the same time, he is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason Nintendo, Sega, and Sony haven't approached him about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in September 2010.
Chris used to absolutely hate gay men, and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced he was simply terrified of becoming gay himself. He cannot bear to look at another man's pickle, and he stares at a Sailor Moon poster to keep himself straight.[4] Chris' words do not always align with his actions; he appears to be deeply insecure about his gender. He has swallowed his own semen, wears a bra, and only reins in his tendency to proudly cross-dress because his elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on his sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, his homophobia seemed to have little basis in his religious beliefs, as he had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until he saw it on a 2009 episode of Family Guy.[5] However, his homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom he "partly encourages" and is even aroused by.
Early life
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. He was born in the United States, specifically in the state of Virginia, and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in his toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until he was older. At the time, he was a pretty normal kid.
Childhood and adolescence
Chris claims his first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,[6] and he remains proud of this feat into his thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.
An abusive babysitter, who was alone with Christopher every day for years,[7] allegedly locked him in a room at an early age.[6] Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that he now locks himself in a room. He once identified this confinement as the source of his autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit James Madison University for speech therapy. He was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that he would never make it to high school, much less be able to write his own name.[8]
During the 1980s, Christopher was playmates with Sarah Nicole Hammer. One day, she convinced him that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when he crawled in there to look, she locked him in,[9] beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, he doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to him, Chris would vow vengeance).
In 1989, noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called him "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have his name legally changed.
Chris spent the 1990-1991 school year in the fourth grade at Nathanael Greene Elementary School, until his parents pulled him out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that he was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty[10] and that he was made to sit on the lap of the principal, an experience that supposedly inspired his homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by his parents' attitudes than his own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When his family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and his father relocated to Richmond so that Chris could continue his education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.[6]
At age 11, Chris entered and won the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes. On his 12th birthday, he enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as his prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to his mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on YouTube long before he was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that he is not some elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use his autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as his fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and his journey of becoming a Fat-Ass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners when he loses).
Even as a baby, he was unusually ugly. Looks kind of like Baby Selwyn from Braindead.
Holding a prototype Sonichu ball.
Chris's taste in clown shirts begins, coupled with his infamous "deer in headlights" stare.
More of young Christian |
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Chris spent much of his time in high school playing video games at home, reading Goosebumps novels, and hanging out with his "gal pals" and "friend" at school. It was at this time that he first put his "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of Bionic the Hedgehog and Sonichu.[11] Chris claims to have been on the honor roll, and during this time acquired the true source of his powers, his amnyfest ring.
Because the art award he wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during his high school graduation. He honestly thought he deserved the award more than anyone else because he worked on it "so hard" in spite of his autism. Another reason for his sorrow was his fear that he might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.[12] Evidently, this fear was unfounded.
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of his life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of his life. He remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-warp, as he believes that whatever he was doing at the time was what helped him attract female companions. That his high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to him.
Chris's award-winning art work |
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Adult Chronicles
Chris's entry into Piedmont Virginia Community College probably eased his inability to cope with life after high school. He took courses in Computer Aided Drafting and Design and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a newsletter and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, he began losing touch with his gal-pals from high school, and he presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor him and his personal idiosyncrasies. By his own admission, his social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to his high school years.[13][14]
Chris says he decided he needed a sweetheart in February 2003. Possibly driven by his discovery that his old friend Sarah Hammer had begun dating Wes Iseli, Chris started his Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, he quickly found that every girl he talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting him into trouble with various authority figures who believed that he was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which is basically true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the PVCC dean Mary Lee Walsh over his attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving magic curses and slander. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled him for one year in 2004. He eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting his life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing Sonichu, mass debating, and using his welfare money to buy video games and sex toys.
In 2005, Chris met Megan Schroeder at a local game and card shop. A social outcast like himself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing his stance on studying women in porn and anime, believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell him to stop touching her.
In the summer of 2007, Chris put it all on the line by entering the PaRappa the Rapper Contest so that he could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of his plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as he lost to the dreaded Adam Stackhouse and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with him on the trip even if he had won.
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch Sonichu, a comic book series featuring his Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and his myriad of romantic misadventures.
Discovery
“ | Geez, when you have me facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off. | ” |
David Gonterman on Chris. |
Chris's rare talent was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4chan. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto Encyclopedia Dramatica in October 2007. His life hasn't been the same since then.
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single YouTube video attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, he then spent the next several months vandalizing the article in the vain hope of overwhelming his enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove himself as lurid as the trolls, revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably a portrait of himself fingerbanging Megan that ruined his most important relationship at the time. By the spring of 2008, Chris would be banned from both his favorite hangout (temporarily, but he was banned permanently in August 2008) and his parents' church for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.
In August 2008, Chris declared war upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming Sonichu #7 unless his vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that he would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke him for his hilarious responses.
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent his various medallions to his fake Internet girlfriend, who immediately destroyed them and broke up with him. This emotional heartbreak and the release of LittleBigPlanet reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of Laughs Under Lucricities. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing him, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing him. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as this one singularly devoted to documenting his life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.
Chris today
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated fans, sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and naïvete readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck him, and every man was either trying to help him sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "sagas" such as the Miyamoto Saga, the Julie Saga, the Ivy Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the Asperchu Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with his highly selective and revisionary treatment of his history.
Following his disastrous failure to woo a real girl in March 2010, Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: his toxic internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon his real life, and each new video he creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led him to reduce his online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and clown shirts.
In November 2010, around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced he will no longer socialize online or publish videos of himself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from his YouTube channel. However, his Internet activity had not completely ceased since he retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in August 2011.
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was his open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In 2011, Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "tomgirl", as he calls it) and fully embraced his new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with his extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).
In September 2011, Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with his widowed mother, who along with the tugboat is his only source of income. Since his mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account.
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like he used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of his home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that he was no longer the bellicose, striped-shirted egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering china are over.
In October 2011, Chris and Barb were arrested at The GAMe PLACe and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with Michael Snyder. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
In April 2012, Chris declared that he finally lost his virginity. This was later confirmed to be true...at the hands of a prostitute. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with the law.
2013 saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on Facebook and Twitter, as well as making himself a pariah to people in real life through his actions. He began blaming people to their face for his own shortcomings which resulted in him leaving his church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from one of his favorite shows, upsetting the few friends he has left with his homophobia and getting thrown out of a Wal-Mart for committing blatant vandalism. He has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on his health (this, at least, is evident) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in his high school days would end up betraying him - he found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated him out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by his antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of his own behavior coming back to haunt him, something he clearly did not realize.
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends he met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by his flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around him, resulting in his exile and loneliness which he idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with his appalling behavior.
At first, it seemed that 2014 would just be business as usual. That is, until January 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from him, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of his garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to him setting his own house on fire. Luckily, no one (animal or human) was seriously harmed, although the resulting damages have forced him and his mother to temporarily move out and trash a different house. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's vast hoard of stupid shit. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions would have been destroyed, including his huge record collection.
Since then, Chris and his mother have been having acute financial difficulties, and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of his horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of narcissism, selling autographed photos of himself on eBay (you can guess who most of his patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literal thousands of dollars on children's toys. Naturally, his "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give him hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that he may finally be forced to face a situation his mother can't bail him out of, and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. Or not.
More curiously, Chris began identifying as a lesbian in August 2014, and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While he seemed to soften his stance on gay men (very reluctantly), he also indicated that he hated his own duck, in addition to his pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.
In July, Chris claimed to have a girlfriend. Needless to say, many doubted it would last.
As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, he obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than himself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.
In early November, it was confirmed that his latest sweetheart, Catherine, was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of his unappreciated abettors, who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating him in July.
This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris violated a ban and assaulting an employee in an outing to GameStop on Boxing Day. He assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from his mistakes, if he even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed himself in this time, but given his current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but himself for this mess, which isn't to say he won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring him with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart.
More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from his traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up his ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent and dramatizing his experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know himself. He has indicated in several Facebook posts that he is still trying to gauge his own sexuality and sexual identity; he has yoyoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. He has even indicated feeling some degree of attraction to men, although he still seems to prefer women.
Featured fan video
CWC ~ A Sad Story | |
Stardate | 20 November 2009 |
Made By | IBAClydeCash |
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos |
See also
- Christian Weston Chandler (comic character) - Chris's depiction of himself within his own comics.
- Chris-chan Sonichu - Chris's furry alter ego.
- Hundreds of personal photographs assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical DVD.
- User:GodofThunderGodofWar - Chris's own CWCki account
Sources
- ↑ Match.com#Profile text
- ↑ The Hook Cafe#Characteristics
- ↑ Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals himself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)
- ↑ Chris Destroys His Vibrator
- ↑ CWC with Bible - Leviticus
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992
- ↑ 6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3
- ↑ Aspergers (CWCipedia article)
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4
- ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007
- ↑ Sonichu #7, [1]
- ↑ DVD, graduation note 2
- ↑ Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 10.
External links
Christian Weston Chandler at the Internet Movie Database
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