Difference between revisions of "Christian Weston Chandler"
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:''This article is about Chris | :''This article is about Chris herself...it is her article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]]. For other uses, see [[Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation)]].<br>'' | ||
:''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].'' | :''"Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see [[Chris and religion]].'' | ||
{{Articleofthenow}} | {{Articleofthenow}} | ||
{{Honest}} | {{Honest}} | ||
{| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;" | {| class="infobox" style="width: 21em; font-size: 90%;" | ||
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|- | |- | ||
| '''Legal Name''' | | '''Legal Name''' | ||
| Christopher Weston Chandler (1982-[[Christopher's_name_change|1992]])<br>Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's_name_change|1992]]-2016)<br>Christine Weston Chandler (2016-present) | | Christopher Weston Chandler (1982-[[Christopher's_name_change|1992]])<br>Christian Weston Chandler ([[Christopher's_name_change|1992]]-2016)<br>Christine Weston Chandler (2016-present) | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Nicknames''' | | '''Nicknames''' | ||
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|- | |- | ||
| '''Gender''' | | '''Gender''' | ||
| Male (1982–2011)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012)<br>Unknown (2012-2014)<br>Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-2015)<br> | | Male (1982–2011)<br>[[Tomgirl]] (2011-2012)<br>Unknown (2012-2014)<br>Tomgirl/[[August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda|Lesbian-Identified Male]] (2014-2015)<br>Female (2015-present) | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Nationality''' | | '''Nationality''' | ||
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|- | |- | ||
| '''Weight''' | | '''Weight''' | ||
| Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]] | | Self-reported [[WeighIn|216 lbs. (98.2 kg)]] | ||
|- | |- | ||
| '''Parents''' | | '''Parents''' | ||
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|- | |- | ||
|} | |} | ||
{{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals | {{quote|I am the [[Slow-in-the-minds|high-functioning]] [[autism|autistic]] person who was heavily [[stress|emotionally damaged]], [[Chris and art|artistic]] [[Things Chris has ripped off|inspiration]] lost with [[Chris and health|paranoia]], [[BlueSpike|deception]], [[Jack Thaddeus|blackmail]] and [[Death threats|plain hurtful words]] from those bottom-feeding [[Trolls]]. I am the hand-drawing original [[Chris and copyright|creator]] of [[sonichu (character)|Sonichu]], [[Rosechu]] and the city of [[CWCville|Cwcville]], [[Virginia]], [[United States of America|USA]].|[[Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia|KookyDashy]], aka Chris<ref>[http://web.archive.org/web/20110804190802/http://tomboytomgirls.44.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=57&start=10 Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( ] - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals herself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)</ref>}} | ||
''' | '''Christine Weston Chandler''' (born '''Christopher Weston Chandler''' on 24 February [[1982]]) is a 34-year-old autistic [[Tomgirl Saga|trans woman]], former [[virgin with rage]], and [[Things Chris has ripped off|creator]] of the infamous [[Sonichu]]. | ||
In late [[2007]], | In late [[2007]], she became [[Internet]]-famous when she caught the attention of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Initial fascination was spurred on by her signature homemade [[Sonichu medallion]], her [[Chris and art|childlike artwork]] featuring her unoriginal Sonic recolor, and her history of loitering in [[Attraction Locations|public places]] while literally holding up a [[sign]] asking women to talk to her. Her reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of her life, [[Chris and...|revealing more disturbing facts about her]]. | ||
==Overview== | ==Overview== | ||
[[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of | [[Image:Chris-Straw.jpg|thumb|left|[[The Oversized Drinking Straw of Fail|An infamous image Chris drew of herself enjoying a soda in 2 ways.]]]] | ||
Christine is a timid, autistic, self-identified trans woman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by her parents, [[Barbara Chandler]] and the deceased [[Bob Chandler]] - to eternally live like a child, amassing [[toys]] and [[video games]] into a single [[room]] in her parents' [[14 Branchland Court|house]]. Now 34 years old, she is so comfortable in her protected existence that she refuses to conform to the norms of society even as she continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as her mother's health fails. Christine regularly demonstrates having trouble with [[Chris and health#Hygiene|personal hygiene]], acceptable [[Love Quest|public]] [[Chris and the Law#2013|behavior]], recognizing when she needs to [[DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS|use the washroom]], and using her time to [[Sonic Boom Protests|contribute to society]] in any [[Chris's resume|meaningful way]]. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady [[Chris's resume|job]], or even been employed for more than a few months in her whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of her parents, although she does manage to make friends with people who share her interests in nerd and LGBT culture<ref>https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572</ref>. | |||
Chris is completely obsessed with | Chris is completely obsessed with her character Sonichu, to the point that she has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February [[2004]] and [[March 2010]], Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in her [[:Image:License.jpg|driver's license photo]] and to her [[college]] graduation. At the same time, she is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason [[Nintendo]], Sega, and [[Sony]] haven't approached her about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in [[September 2010]]. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where she would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success she moved to Etsy, however, her laziness got the best of her and she lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders. | ||
Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced | Chris used to absolutely hate [[homos|gay men]], and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced she was simply terrified of becoming gay herself. She cannot bear to look at a man's [[pickle|penis]], and she stares at [[Sailor Moon Poster of Fail|a ''Sailor Moon'' poster]] to keep herself straight.<ref>[[Chris Destroys Her Vibrator]]</ref> Chris' words do not always align with her actions; she appears to be deeply insecure about her gender. She has [[recycling|swallowed her own semen]], [[Sports bra photo series|wears a bra]], and only reins in her [[Tomgirl Pictures|tendency to proudly cross-dress]] because her elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on her sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, her homophobia seemed to have little basis in her religious beliefs, as she had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until she saw it on a 2009 episode of ''[[Family Guy]]''.<ref>[[CWC with Bible - Leviticus]]</ref> However, her homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom she "partly encourages" and is even aroused by. | ||
Her adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by her goal of developing her webcomic ''[[Sonichu (comic)|Sonichu]]'' into a hit media franchise and her [[Love Quest]] to obtain a "[[boyfriend-free girl|boyfriend-free]], 18-[''her current age'']-year old, caring, [[tobacky|smoke-free]], non-[[alcohol]]ic [[Chris and race|white]] girl" to make into a "[[sweetheart from the ground-up]]." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world she constructed remain very much prominent in her life. Instead, she has dedicated many months to [[Sonic Boom Protests|protesting]] ([[26 December 2014|violently]]) against the new color of Sonic's arms in ''Sonic Boom'', and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a trans woman. | |||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
== Early life == | == Early life == | ||
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. | In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. She was born in the [[United States]], specifically in the state of [[Virginia]], and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in her toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until she was older. At the time, she was a pretty normal kid. | ||
===Childhood and adolescence=== | ===Childhood and adolescence=== | ||
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[[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]] | [[Image:0147-CWCsMilkcapsAcrossTime.jpg|240px|thumb|The evolution (or decay, depending upon how you see things) of Chris-chan...in a [[Wikipedia:Pogs|pog]] form (yes, those are homemade pogs). Top: Chris '94, '95, '96. Bottom: '97, '98', '99.]] | ||
Chris claims | Chris claims her first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,<ref name="Wikipedia early">[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992]]</ref> and she remains proud of this feat into her thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords. | ||
An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked | An [[abusive babysitter]], who was alone with Christopher every day for years,<ref>[[:Image:Cole 07-03-06-3.PNG|6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3]]</ref> allegedly locked her in a room at an early age.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that she now locks herself in a room. She once identified this confinement as the source of her autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit [[James Madison University]] for speech therapy. She was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that she would never make it to high school, much less be able to write her own name.<ref>[[Aspergers (CWCipedia article)]]</ref> | ||
During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced | During the [[1980s]], Christopher was playmates with [[Sarah Nicole Hammer]]. One day, she convinced her that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when she crawled in there to look, she locked her in,<ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares#Memories of childhood|Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4]]</ref> beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, she doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to her, Chris would vow vengeance). | ||
In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called | In [[1989]], noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called her "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have her name legally changed. | ||
Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until | Chris spent the [[1990s|1990-1991]] school year in the fourth grade at [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], until her parents pulled her out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that she was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty<ref>[[Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007]]</ref> and that she was made to sit on the lap of the [[Bruce Johnson|principal]], an experience that supposedly inspired her homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by her parents' attitudes than her own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When her family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and her father relocated to [[Richmond]] so that Chris could continue her education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.<ref name="Wikipedia early" /> | ||
At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On | At age 11, Chris entered and won the [[Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes]]. On her 12th birthday, she enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as her prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to her mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on [[YouTube]] long before she was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that she is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use her autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as her fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and her journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else [[Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown|becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners]] when she loses). | ||
<center><gallery> | <center><gallery> | ||
Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, | Image:0002-BabyChristopher.jpg|As a baby, she was unusually ugly.''. | ||
Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid. | Image:0003-ChristopherApr1985.jpg|Age 3, actually a pretty cute kid. | ||
Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]]. | Image:0001-ChristopherInSchool.jpg|Holding a prototype [[Sonichu Balls|Sonichu Ball]]. | ||
Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with | Image:0043-YoungChristopher2.jpg|[[Chris and fashion|Chris's taste in clown shirts begins]], coupled with her infamous "deer in headlights" [[stare]]. | ||
</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
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[[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]] | [[Image:CWC12.png|120px|thumb|Hard to believe, but this photo has not been airbrushed to perfection.]] | ||
Chris spent much of | Chris spent much of her time in [[Manchester High School|high school]] playing video games at home, reading ''[[Goosebumps]]'' novels, and hanging out with her "[[gal pals]]" and "[[Joseph Herring|friend]]" at school. It was at this time that she first put her "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of [[Bionic the Hedgehog]] and Sonichu.<ref>[[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]], [http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_7/Page_22]</ref> Chris claims to have been on the [[honor roll]], and during this time acquired the true source of her powers, her [[amnyfest ring]]. | ||
Because the art award | Because the art award she wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during her [[Manchester High School#Graduation|high school graduation]]. She honestly thought she deserved the award more than anyone else because she worked on it "so hard" in spite of her autism. Another reason for her sorrow was her fear that she might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.<ref>[[:Image:0567-GraduationNote2.jpg|DVD, graduation note 2]]</ref> Evidently, this fear was unfounded. | ||
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of | Since leaving high school and the happiest years of her life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of her life. She remains trapped in a childish, Year [[2000]] [[Time Void|time-stasis]], as she believes that whatever she was doing at the time was what helped her attract female companions. That her high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to her. | ||
{{collapsible | {{collapsible | ||
|Chris's award-winning art work | |Chris's award-winning art work | ||
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Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all. | Image:475-RelaxingCWC1.JPG|Chris relaxing. Not scary at all. | ||
Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh... | Image:476-RelaxingCWC2.JPG|Uh... | ||
Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this | Image:471-ChristophersLeatherFace.JPG|Chris calls this her "leather face". Apparently, she's never seen ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre''. | ||
Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit. | Image:467-CWCPlate.JPG|This plate helps you lose weight - look at it and you'll want to vomit. | ||
Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves. | Image:doorfish.jpg|You put this over your door to keep away would be thieves. | ||
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===Adult Chronicles=== | ===Adult Chronicles=== | ||
[[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for | [[Image:0781-CWCspdbed.JPG|thumb|One of Chris's promotional images for her [[Love Quest]].]] | ||
Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased | Chris's entry into [[Piedmont Virginia Community College]] probably eased her inability to cope with life after high school. She took courses in [[CADD|Computer Aided Drafting and Design]] and began spending more time on ''Sonichu'', launching a [[Sonichu's News Dash|newsletter]] and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, she began losing touch with her gal-pals from high school, and she presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor her and her personal idiosyncrasies. By her own admission, her social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to her high school years.<ref>[[Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days]]</ref><ref>[[Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares]], page 10.</ref> | ||
Chris says | Chris says she decided she needed a [[sweetheart]] in February [[2003]]. Possibly driven by her discovery that her old friend [[Sarah Hammer]] had begun dating [[Wes Iseli]], Chris started her [[Love Quest]] in earnest that summer. However, she quickly found that every girl she talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "[[Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor]]" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them. | ||
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting | Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting her into trouble with various [[jerkops|authority]] [[manajerks|figures]] who believed that she was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the [[PVCC]] dean [[Mary Lee Walsh]] over her attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving [[Curse-ye-ha-me-ha|magic curses]] and [[Mary Lee Walsh#Mary Lee Walsh in Sonichu|slander]]. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled her for one year in [[2004]]. She eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May [[2006]]. | ||
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting | After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting her life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing ''Sonichu'', [[mass debating]], and using her [[monthly tugboat|welfare money]] to buy video games and [[sex toys]]. | ||
[[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left| | [[Image:156-CWCMegan1.jpg|thumb|left|She can smell fear.]] | ||
In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like | In [[2005]], Chris met [[Megan Schroeder]] at a [[The GAMe PLACe|local game and card shop]]. A social outcast like herself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing her stance on studying women in porn and [[anime]], believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell her to stop touching her. | ||
In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that | In the summer of [[2007]], Chris put it all on the line by entering the [[PaRappa the Rapper Contest|''PaRappa the Rapper'' Contest]] so that she could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of her plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as she lost to the dreaded [[Adam Stackhouse]] and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with her on the trip even if she had won. | ||
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring | It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch ''Sonichu'', a comic book series featuring her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and her myriad of romantic misadventures. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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[[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]] | [[Image:110-SchuSiteIdea2.jpg|thumb|FUCK YEAH!!!]] | ||
{{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}} | {{quote|Geez, when you have '''me''' facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off.|[http://encyclopediadramatica.se/David_Gonterman David Gonterman] on Chris.}} | ||
Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. | Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on [[4-cent garbage|4chan]]. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] in October 2007. Her life hasn't been the same since then. | ||
[[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]] | [[File:ChrisMomsPanties.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2008]].]] | ||
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, | Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single [[Chris Chan's Public Announcement|YouTube video]] attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, she then spent the next several months [[List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica|vandalizing]] the article in the vain hope of overwhelming her enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove herself as lurid as the [[trolls]], revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably [[ShecameforCWC.JPG|a portrait of herself finger-banging Megan]] that ruined her most important relationship at the time. By the spring of [[2008]], Chris would be banned from both [[The Game Place|her favorite hangout]] (temporarily, but she was banned permanently in August 2008) and [[Grace Baptist Church|her parents' church]] for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article. | ||
In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless | In August 2008, Chris [[CWC's Second Message|declared]] [[Attention All Sonichu Fans (NOT HATERS)|war]] upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming [[Sonichu 7|''Sonichu'' #7]] unless her vast [[fan base]] rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris [[Kudos to the Encyclopedia DramaDestruction|took credit and declared victory]], guaranteeing that she would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce [[videos]], comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke her for her hilarious responses. | ||
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent | The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent her various [[medallions]] to her [[Blanca Weiss|fake Internet girlfriend]], who immediately destroyed them and broke up with her. This emotional heartbreak and the release of ''[[LittleBigPlanet]]'' reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of [[Laughs Under Lucricities]]. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing her, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing her. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as [[CWCki|this one]] singularly devoted to documenting her life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks. | ||
==Chris today== | ==Chris today== | ||
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[[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]] | [[File:Ecp00066.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2009]].]] | ||
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck | By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated [[fans]], sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and [[naïve]]te readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck her, and every man was either trying to help her sell ''Sonichu'' products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "[[saga]]s" such as the [[Miyamoto]] Saga, the [[Julie]] Saga, the [[Ivy]] Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the [[Asperchu]] Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with her highly selective and revisionary treatment of her history. | ||
[[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]] | [[File:Personalprofile.jpg|thumb|left|''[[OkCupid|Hello]], [[The Hook Cafe|ladies]][[Carlos Chantor|!]]'' Chris in [[2010]].]] | ||
Following | Following her disastrous failure to woo [[The Wallflower|a real girl]] in March [[2010]], Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: her toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon her real life, and each new video she creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led her to reduce her online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and [[clown shirt]]s. | ||
In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced | In [[November 2010]], around the same time another romantic saga involving [[Jackie|another sweetheart]] ended in failure, Chris announced she will no longer socialize online or publish videos of herself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from her YouTube channel. However, her Internet activity had not completely ceased since she retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in [[August 2011]]. | ||
[[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of | [[File:TG20.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2011]], near the time of her father's death.]] | ||
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was | Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was her open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In [[2011]], Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "[[tomgirl]]", as she calls it) and fully embraced her new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with her extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below). | ||
In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with | In [[September 2011]], Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with her widowed mother, who along with the [[tugboat]] is her only source of income. Since her mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account. | ||
Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like | Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like she used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of her home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that she was no longer the bellicose, [[Chris and fashion|striped-shirted]] egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering [[china]] are over. | ||
[[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]] | [[File:Christran2.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2012]].]] | ||
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[[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]] | [[File:Chris march2013.jpg|thumb|Chris in [[2013]].]] | ||
In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that | In [[April 2012]], Chris declared that she finally [[Mia Hamm|lost her virginity]]. This was later confirmed to be true...[[Other documents#Chris's wingman|at the hands of a prostitute]]. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with [[Chris and the Law|the law]]. | ||
[[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making | [[2013]] saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]], as well as making herself a pariah to people in real life through her actions. She began blaming people to their face for her own shortcomings which resulted in her leaving her church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from [[My Little Pony|one of her favorite shows]], upsetting the few friends she has left with her homophobia and getting thrown out of a [[Wal-Mart]] for committing blatant vandalism. She has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on her health ([[Chris and Health|this, at least, is evident]]) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in her high school days would end up betraying her - she found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated her out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by her antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of her own behavior coming back to haunt her, something she clearly did not realize. | ||
The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends | The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends she met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by her flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around her, resulting in her exile and loneliness which she idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with her appalling behavior. | ||
[[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], | [[File:Chris 15 Aug 2014 changed profile pic.jpg|thumb|left|Chris in [[2014]], her long, lank, thin [[hair]] receding in earnest.]] | ||
At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from | At first, it seemed that [[2014]] would just be business as usual. That is, until [[January 2014|January]] 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from her, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of her garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to her [[Destruction Of Chris's House|setting her own house on fire]]. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining [[Chandler cats]] died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and her mother to temporarily [[Rental House|move out and trash a different house]]. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's [[Megan Shrine|vast]] [[Lego|hoard]] [[Trading Cards|of]] [[DVD|stupid]] [[Kimmi|shit]]. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection. | ||
Since then, Chris and | Since then, Chris and her mother have been having [[Chris and money|acute financial difficulties]], and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of her horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of [[Chris and his Ego|narcissism]], selling autographed photos of herself on eBay (you can guess who most of her patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on [[Lego|children's toys]]. Naturally, her "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give her hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that she may finally be forced to face a situation her mother can't [[Hooker incident|bail her]] [[Chris and money|out of]], and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. [[Chris and reality|Or not]]. | ||
[[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]] | [[File:OmegaconB.jpg|thumb|right|Chris, in [[2015]].]] | ||
More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While | More curiously, [[Chris and reality|Chris began identifying as a lesbian]] in [[August 2014]], and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While she seemed to soften her stance on gay men (''very'' reluctantly), she also indicated that she hated her own duck, in addition to her pre-existing hatred of ducks in general. | ||
In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]]. | In July, Chris claimed to have a [[2014 Anonymous Sweetheart|girlfriend]]. Needless to say, many [[Megan Schroeder|doubted it]] [[The Wallflower|would last]]. | ||
As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, | As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, she obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than herself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur. | ||
In early November, it was confirmed that | In early November, it was confirmed that her latest sweetheart, [[Catherine]], was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of her [[CWCki Forums|unappreciated abettors]], who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating her in July. | ||
This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. | This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris [[26 December 2014|violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to]] [[GameStop]] on Boxing Day. She assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from her mistakes, if she even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed herself in this time, but given her current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but herself for this mess, which isn't to say she won't try. | ||
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring | In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring her with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart. More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from her traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up her [[Sonic Boom Protests|ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent]] and dramatizing her experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know herself. She has indicated in several Facebook posts that she is still trying to gauge her own sexuality and sexual identity; she has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood. | ||
[[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|left|Chris in [[2016]].]] | [[File:Happy Birthday, Nathan..mp400001.png|thumb|left|Chris in [[2016]].]] | ||
Chris performed the sequels to some of | Chris performed the sequels to some of her greatest hits in 2016. | ||
{| class="wikitable" | {| class="wikitable" | ||
|Original | |Original | ||
|Sequel | |Sequel | ||
|- | |- | ||
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*Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards were clearly visible behind them. | *Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the [[Financhu Crisis]], in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards were clearly visible behind them. | ||
*The Sellout saga was essentially concluded when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. | *The Sellout saga was essentially concluded when Chris was [[Chris and business|banned from Etsy for failing to send orders]]. She continued to [[duck]] responsibility for her inability to put down the [[PS4]] controller long enough to slap together her preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame [[Lulu]] for being "[[Homos|the bugger that bit my ass bad]] and [[Lie|killed my creative groove]]". | ||
* | *Her Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when she freely announced that she [[August 2016 Facebook posts#Incestuous Thoughts|dreams about having sex with her mother]]. | ||
* | *She made multiple death threats against political figures [[Donald Trump]] and Mike Pence. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
==Aliases== | ==Aliases== | ||
[[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of | [[Image:093-CWCtoon.jpg|thumb|left|100px|[[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian's hand drawn representation of herself.]]]] | ||
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names | Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names she has given herself. She was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but [[Christopher's name change|changed]] to "Christian" at the behest of the "[[Leonard Bearstein|mall conductor bear]]". In either case, she answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". [[Autism|Unusually]], Chris will often refer to herself by her full name, or if she's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". She is unusually proud of her initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into her creations and various puns on the word "quick". | ||
In 2016, | In 2016, she filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."<ref>https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/</ref> | ||
Chris's nickname in | Chris's nickname in her high school [[Spanish]] classes was "Ricardo", and to this day she translates her own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to her ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times she will literally announce herself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify herself. | ||
When Chris revealed | When Chris revealed she wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, she began calling herself "Christine". | ||
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of | Occasionally, Chris will use the names of her characters to refer to herself, most notably her evil twin, [[Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc]], and of course, Sonichu. In her comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an [[Electric Hedgehog Pokémon]], named [[Chris-Chan Sonichu]]. | ||
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which | The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which she did not herself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by [[Arjen Van Dierten]]) and [[Ian Brandon Anderson]] (popularized by [[Liquid Chris]]). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate her from Liquid in the tradition of a [[Metal Gear Solid|certain video game series]]. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth". | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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| Stardate = 20 November 2009 | | Stardate = 20 November 2009 | ||
| Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash] | | Maker = [http://www.youtube.com/user/IBAClydeCash IBAClydeCash] | ||
| Subject = | | Subject = | ||
| Video Type = | | Video Type = | ||
| Other Info = | | Other Info = | ||
}} | }} | ||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
* [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of | * [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)]] - Chris's depiction of herself within her own comics. | ||
* [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego. | * [[Chris-chan Sonichu]] - Chris's furry alter ego. | ||
* [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]. | * [[:Category:DVD slideshow images|Hundreds of personal photographs]] assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical [[DVD]]. |
Revision as of 00:09, 8 January 2017
- This article is about Chris herself...it is her article and nothing less! For the "Sonichu" character, see Christian Weston Chandler (comic character). For other uses, see Christian Weston Chandler (disambiguation).
- "Christian" redirects here. For our hero's view on Christianity, see Chris and religion.
This article is rated M for Honest Content
It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
|
Chandler Family | |
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Christian Weston Chandler | |
Legal Name | Christopher Weston Chandler (1982-1992) Christian Weston Chandler (1992-2016) Christine Weston Chandler (2016-present) |
Nicknames | Chris-chan CWC Ian Brandon Anderson Solid Chris Ricardo Weston Chandler Junior Jenkins Carlos Chantor KookyDashy Kaka Apple Chrissy Ht Wto Hd Stephanie Bustcakes OPL (Our Pet Lolcow) |
Date of Birth | 24 February 1982 (age 42) |
Gender | Male (1982–2011) Tomgirl (2011-2012) Unknown (2012-2014) Tomgirl/Lesbian-Identified Male (2014-2015) Female (2015-present) |
Nationality | American |
Race | White (1/8th "Cherokian") |
Height | Self reported 5'10" (1.78 m)[1][2] |
Weight | Self-reported 216 lbs. (98.2 kg) |
Parents | Bob (deceased) Barbara |
Education | Piedmont Virginia Community College (CADD) |
Occupation(s) | Freelance comic book artist/writer/video game designer (unpublished) Wendy's employee (2001) Cutco salesman (2003) Male escort (2010, unpaid) |
“ | I am the high-functioning autistic person who was heavily emotionally damaged, artistic inspiration lost with paranoia, deception, blackmail and plain hurtful words from those bottom-feeding Trolls. I am the hand-drawing original creator of Sonichu, Rosechu and the city of Cwcville, Virginia, USA. | ” |
KookyDashy, aka Chris[3] |
Christine Weston Chandler (born Christopher Weston Chandler on 24 February 1982) is a 34-year-old autistic trans woman, former virgin with rage, and creator of the infamous Sonichu.
In late 2007, she became Internet-famous when she caught the attention of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Initial fascination was spurred on by her signature homemade Sonichu medallion, her childlike artwork featuring her unoriginal Sonic recolor, and her history of loitering in public places while literally holding up a sign asking women to talk to her. Her reaction to the ensuing mockery led to a spiral of ever greater scrutiny of her life, revealing more disturbing facts about her.
Overview
Christine is a timid, autistic, self-identified trans woman with delusional tendencies who has been allowed - by her parents, Barbara Chandler and the deceased Bob Chandler - to eternally live like a child, amassing toys and video games into a single room in her parents' house. Now 34 years old, she is so comfortable in her protected existence that she refuses to conform to the norms of society even as she continues to grow older and the need for independence becomes more dire as her mother's health fails. Christine regularly demonstrates having trouble with personal hygiene, acceptable public behavior, recognizing when she needs to use the washroom, and using her time to contribute to society in any meaningful way. Although the public school system forced Chris to face society, graduation has allowed Chris to stay indoors and avoid taking part in typical civilian activities. Due to this avoidance of the outside world, Chris has never held a steady job, or even been employed for more than a few months in her whole life. Chris has had shockingly few meaningful relationships with people in a social setting outside of her parents, although she does manage to make friends with people who share her interests in nerd and LGBT culture[4].
Chris is completely obsessed with her character Sonichu, to the point that she has hand-crafted several medallions in the shape of Sonichu and related characters. Between February 2004 and March 2010, Chris was rarely seen or photographed without one of these totems, even wearing them in her driver's license photo and to her college graduation. At the same time, she is absolutely convinced that everyone wants to learn all about Sonichu, and that the only reason Nintendo, Sega, and Sony haven't approached her about making Sonichu games is that they're either trying to be tough negotiators, or that her chances are being ruined by trolls working in the companies. The medallion returned in September 2010. For awhile Chris had been upkeeping an eBay shop where she would make and sell these medallions, including Sonichu, Rosechu, Blake, and even custom character options. These were sold for 30$ a piece. After the eBay shop became a mild success she moved to Etsy, however, her laziness got the best of her and she lost the shop after nine months in business, due to failing to fulfill orders.
Chris used to absolutely hate gay men, and communicated this with such intensity that observers were easily convinced she was simply terrified of becoming gay herself. She cannot bear to look at a man's penis, and she stares at a Sailor Moon poster to keep herself straight.[5] Chris' words do not always align with her actions; she appears to be deeply insecure about her gender. She has swallowed her own semen, wears a bra, and only reins in her tendency to proudly cross-dress because her elderly mother intensely disapproves. While these actions do not indicate homosexuality outright, they do question the validity of Chris's own judgements on her sexual orientation. Surprisingly, however, her homophobia seemed to have little basis in her religious beliefs, as she had not noticed Leviticus 18:22, which condemns homosexuality, until she saw it on a 2009 episode of Family Guy.[6] However, her homophobia didn't extend to lesbians, whom she "partly encourages" and is even aroused by. Her adult life has, until somewhat recently, been largely defined by her goal of developing her webcomic Sonichu into a hit media franchise and her Love Quest to obtain a "boyfriend-free, 18-[her current age]-year old, caring, smoke-free, non-alcoholic white girl" to make into a "sweetheart from the ground-up." Nowadays, Chris has largely shelved the Sonichu comics, although the characters and world she constructed remain very much prominent in her life. Instead, she has dedicated many months to protesting (violently) against the new color of Sonic's arms in Sonic Boom, and has sat on the fence for some time on becoming a trans woman.
Early life
In 24 February 1982, Chris was born to Robert and Barbara Chandler. She was born in the United States, specifically in the state of Virginia, and of course, is a citizen of the US. Not much was known about Chris in her toddler years, but the signs of autism didn't creep up until she was older. At the time, she was a pretty normal kid.
Childhood and adolescence
Chris claims her first word, "monkey", was spoken at 6 weeks old,[7] and she remains proud of this feat into her thirties regardless of how obviously unlikely and physically impossible it is to be true--the language centers in the human brain literally cannot grasp English at 6 weeks, disregarding infantile vocal chords.
An abusive babysitter, who was alone with Christopher every day for years,[8] allegedly locked her in a room at an early age.[7] Chris apparently misses the irony in the fact that she now locks herself in a room. She once identified this confinement as the source of her autism. Between the ages of 1 and 7, Chris did not speak at all, and had to visit James Madison University for speech therapy. She was diagnosed as being autistic, with the doctor projecting (at least according to Chris) that she would never make it to high school, much less be able to write her own name.[9]
During the 1980s, Christopher was playmates with Sarah Nicole Hammer. One day, she convinced her that Casper the Friendly Ghost lived in the crawlspace under her house, and when she crawled in there to look, she locked her in,[10] beginning Chris's lifelong career of getting trolled. Apparently, she doesn't hold any hard feelings over it (possibly just because she's a girl--if a guy did that to her, Chris would vow vengeance). In 1989, noted ursine conductor Leonard Bearstein misheard Christopher's first name and called her "Christian", which inexplicably convinced Christopher to later have her name legally changed.
Chris spent the 1990-1991 school year in the fourth grade at Nathanael Greene Elementary School, until her parents pulled her out of classes over a mysterious dispute. Chris claims that she was forcefully restrained by the school's faculty[11] and that she was made to sit on the lap of the principal, an experience that supposedly inspired her homophobia. It's possible that Chris's opinions about these events are colored more by her parents' attitudes than her own memories. The issue went to court, with Greene County seeking to have Chris sent to a "special school", which Bob and Barbara likely interpreted to mean a nut-house. Chris was home-schooled through the 5th grade during these proceedings. When her family exhausted all legal recourse, Chris and her father relocated to Richmond so that Chris could continue her education in a different school system, starting with the sixth grade in fall 1992.[7]
At age 11, Chris entered and won the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch & Win Sweepstakes. On her 12th birthday, she enjoyed a $1,000 shopping spree as her prize. WVIR-TV's coverage of the event focused on Chris's autism, regarding the contest win as a worthy accomplishment due to her mental condition. Chris put footage from this newscast on YouTube long before she was known to general public, and it remains the most solid evidence that she is not an elaborate troll. This incident is often cited as the beginning of Chris's tendency to use her autism as leverage for special treatment, as well as her fascination with toys & video games at the expense of more mature pursuits and her journey of becoming a fatass. It has led Chris to constantly enter contests in hopes of winning big (or else becoming infuriated and belligerent to the winners when she loses).
Holding a prototype Sonichu Ball.
Chris's taste in clown shirts begins, coupled with her infamous "deer in headlights" stare.
More of young Christian |
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Chris spent much of her time in high school playing video games at home, reading Goosebumps novels, and hanging out with her "gal pals" and "friend" at school. It was at this time that she first put her "creative talents" to use, with the inventions of Bionic the Hedgehog and Sonichu.[12] Chris claims to have been on the honor roll, and during this time acquired the true source of her powers, her amnyfest ring. Because the art award she wanted was given to someone else, Chris stormed out crying during her high school graduation. She honestly thought she deserved the award more than anyone else because she worked on it "so hard" in spite of her autism. Another reason for her sorrow was her fear that she might soon have to grow up and start acting like an adult.[13] Evidently, this fear was unfounded.
Since leaving high school and the happiest years of her life, Chris has been unwilling and unable to progress in any aspect of her life. She remains trapped in a childish, Year 2000 time-stasis, as she believes that whatever she was doing at the time was what helped her attract female companions. That her high school gal-pals have moved on and married real adult men with careers is of little consequence to her.
Chris's award-winning art work |
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Adult Chronicles
Chris's entry into Piedmont Virginia Community College probably eased her inability to cope with life after high school. She took courses in Computer Aided Drafting and Design and began spending more time on Sonichu, launching a newsletter and circulating it on the PVCC campus. Over time, she began losing touch with her gal-pals from high school, and she presumably found the junior college crowd less willing to humor her and her personal idiosyncrasies. By her own admission, her social life at PVCC was lacking when compared to her high school years.[14][15] Chris says she decided she needed a sweetheart in February 2003. Possibly driven by her discovery that her old friend Sarah Hammer had begun dating Wes Iseli, Chris started her Love Quest in earnest that summer. However, she quickly found that every girl she talked to had a boyfriend (or so they claimed). Chris soon became neurotic about the "Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor" and began concocting and employing various bizarre methods to attract women without actually having to approach or speak to them.
Chris's most celebrated technique involved sitting in one place (or pacing back and forth) for hours, holding a sign that read "I am a (variable age)-Year Old, Single Male, seeking an 18-(Chris's age then)-Year Old, Single Female Companion." Amazingly, this strategy accomplished nothing beyond getting her into trouble with various authority figures who believed that she was loitering and/or soliciting sex, which was legally true. Chris was particularly affected by a series of confrontations with the PVCC dean Mary Lee Walsh over her attraction techniques, resulting in an ongoing, completely one-sided blood feud involving magic curses and slander. After a series of confrontations featuring increasingly bizarre and threatening behavior on Chris's part, Walsh expelled her for one year in 2004. She eventually returned, however, obtaining an associate's degree in May 2006.
After college, Chris promptly dropped out of society, devoting her life to finding a boyfriend-free girl, drawing Sonichu, mass debating, and using her welfare money to buy video games and sex toys.
In 2005, Chris met Megan Schroeder at a local game and card shop. A social outcast like herself, Megan proved unusual in that she was willing to talk to Chris for more than 5 minutes. The 2 quickly became close friends, although Megan claimed to have recently endured a bad break-up and refused to entertain Chris's obvious romantic interest. Chris, seemingly basing her stance on studying women in porn and anime, believed that the key to turning Megan's platonic feelings romantic was to make inappropriate advances toward her until she had to tell her to stop touching her.
In the summer of 2007, Chris put it all on the line by entering the PaRappa the Rapper Contest so that she could win prizes and a trip for two to Seattle, which formed the centerpiece of her plan to finally score with Megan. The contest ended in disaster for Chris, as she lost to the dreaded Adam Stackhouse and subsequently learned that Megan wouldn't have gone with her on the trip even if she had won.
It was during the Love Quest that Chris was inspired to launch Sonichu, a comic book series featuring her Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. Ostensibly, the comic was intended to focus on the life and times of Chris's unbelievably original character, but by halfway through the first issue the focus of the story had become Chris and her myriad of romantic misadventures.
Discovery
“ | Geez, when you have me facepalming at you, you have got to be pretty bad off. | ” |
David Gonterman on Chris. |
Chris's rare talent (and by talent we mean pathology) was discovered when someone posted an anonymous picture of Sonichu on 4chan. It only took a quick Google search of Chris's name to discover the picture's author, and Chris's miserable existence spilled over onto Encyclopedia Dramatica in October 2007. Her life hasn't been the same since then.
Upon learning of the "Chris-Chan" article on ED, Chris released a single YouTube video attempting to diplomatically convince the site to remove the page. Failing in this, she then spent the next several months vandalizing the article in the vain hope of overwhelming her enemies. This catastrophically backfired as Chris, in an attempt to prove herself as lurid as the trolls, revealed a great deal of embarrassing information, most notably a portrait of herself finger-banging Megan that ruined her most important relationship at the time. By the spring of 2008, Chris would be banned from both her favorite hangout (temporarily, but she was banned permanently in August 2008) and her parents' church for reasons at least partially related to information brought to light by the ED article.
In August 2008, Chris declared war upon Encyclopedia Dramatica in a series of videos, threatening to withhold publication of the upcoming Sonichu #7 unless her vast fan base rallied to force ED to remove the "Chris-Chan" article. When ED suffered outages unrelated to this crusade, Chris took credit and declared victory, guaranteeing that she would be under constant fire from trolls for years to come. This began an endless cycle in which Chris would produce videos, comics, and harebrained schemes to attack the trolls, which would in turn encourage more and more trolls to provoke her for her hilarious responses.
The cycle was briefly disrupted in the fall of 2008 when Chris sent her various medallions to her fake Internet girlfriend, who immediately destroyed them and broke up with her. This emotional heartbreak and the release of LittleBigPlanet reduced Chris's output of videos and other sources of Laughs Under Lucricities. At the same time, Encyclopedia Dramatica began cracking down on trolls using Chris's ED page as a forum for discussing her, and in general opinion was divided as to whether it was funny or faggy to continue harassing her. The resulting schism led to the creation of numerous websites (such as this one singularly devoted to documenting her life), which has only expanded the coverage of Chris's hijinks.
Chris today
By late 2008, trolls controlled many aspects of Chris's life by posing as dedicated fans, sweethearts, cartoonish enemies, and prospective business partners. Chris's ego and naïvete readily embraced this brave new world in which every woman wanted to fuck her, and every man was either trying to help her sell Sonichu products or steal the franchise for their own nefarious goals. Trolls would begin denoting major events in Chris's life as "sagas" such as the Miyamoto Saga, the Julie Saga, the Ivy Saga, the Liquid Saga, and the Asperchu Saga. All the while, the CWCki maintains a constant record of these events, ensuring that Chris cannot get away with her highly selective and revisionary treatment of her history.
Following her disastrous failure to woo a real girl in March 2010, Chris began to realize what anyone else would have figured out a long time ago: her toxic Internet presence is having a detrimental effect upon her real life, and each new video she creates only makes it worse. This realization appears to have led her to reduce her online presence and to stop donning Sonichu medallions and clown shirts.
In November 2010, around the same time another romantic saga involving another sweetheart ended in failure, Chris announced she will no longer socialize online or publish videos of herself. Subsequently, all videos save for the last one were removed from her YouTube channel. However, her Internet activity had not completely ceased since she retired from YouTube. Chris later returned with new videos in August 2011.
Perhaps the most dramatic change in Chris’s life was her open and enthusiastic embrace of cross-dressing and femininity in general. In 2011, Chris was revealed to have become a full blown transvestite (or "tomgirl", as she calls it) and fully embraced her new identity both at home and in public. Chris seems to have reconciled this behavior with her extreme homophobia and purported heterosexuality without any difficulty. Though treated as yet another saga at first, this behavior seems to be deeply entrenched and has only gotten more extreme as of late 2014 (see below).
In September 2011, Chris's father died of heart failure. Chris continues to live with her widowed mother, who along with the tugboat is her only source of income. Since her mother is in her 70s, it can be reasonably assumed that she has little time left on this earth, especially when her poor health is taken into account. Since Bob's death, Chris has seldom interacted with trolls, and is seemingly no longer able to effortlessly bounce back from despair like she used to, and has instead lapsed into deep depression, no doubt exacerbated by the later loss of her home to fire, and subsequent financial difficulties. In the aftermath of Bob's death, many trolls began to question whether Chris deserved or indeed, could cope with any further trolling, given that she was no longer the bellicose, striped-shirted egocentric that the world had come to know. If one thing is certain, it is that Chris's glory days of screaming into a camera like a madman and performing like a circus animal for trolls offering china are over.
In October 2011, Chris and Barb were arrested at The GAMe PLACe and charged on several counts including trespassing, assault, and failure to stop at an accident causing over $1,000 in damage after an altercation with Michael Snyder. The trespassing and assault charges against Chris were dropped, but both still face felony trials for the failure to stop, and Barb for assaulting a police officer.
In April 2012, Chris declared that she finally lost her virginity. This was later confirmed to be true...at the hands of a prostitute. 2012 was otherwise uneventful, probably because Chris was in trouble with the law.
2013 saw Chris's life more or less confined to ranting on Facebook and Twitter, as well as making herself a pariah to people in real life through her actions. She began blaming people to their face for her own shortcomings which resulted in her leaving her church, getting chewed out by a voice actress from one of her favorite shows, upsetting the few friends she has left with her homophobia and getting thrown out of a Wal-Mart for committing blatant vandalism. She has also complained about the 'stress' taking its toll on her health (this, at least, is evident) and pined incessantly about being "lonely". Even the "gal-pals" Chris so fondly talked about in her high school days would end up betraying her - she found out around Halloween 2013 that they had only tolerated her out of pity and, having discovered them, were just as revolted by her antics as much as the next sane person. Of course, the miseries Chris was lamenting at this time were almost entirely products of her own behavior coming back to haunt her, something she clearly did not realize. The year 2013 also saw the rise of quite a few new white knights as well (including actual friends she met in real life) all of whom tried to offer constructive advice to Chris, although their advice was unwelcome information and thus totally ignored, as tradition dictates. This year of Chris's life seemed to have been most characterized by her flagrant disrespect of people, things and ideas around her, resulting in her exile and loneliness which she idiotically (but predictably) did not connect with her appalling behavior.
At first, it seemed that 2014 would just be business as usual. That is, until January 10th when, in a cataclysmic display of the idiocy we've come to expect from her, Chris thought it would be a good idea to brew coffee in the bathroom of her garbage-filled house with an extension cord, leading to her setting her own house on fire. While no human was seriously harmed, one of the remaining Chandler cats died in the fire. The resulting damages forced Chris and her mother to temporarily move out and trash a different house. Almost all of the Chandler possessions were destroyed in the fire, including most of Chris's vast hoard of stupid shit. On a sadder note, most if not all of Bob's possessions were presumably also destroyed, including his huge record collection.
Since then, Chris and her mother have been having acute financial difficulties, and Chris has spent most of the year alternating between begging and taking the odd commission to make more of her horrendous "art" on Facebook, or in a new display of narcissism, selling autographed photos of herself on eBay (you can guess who most of her patrons are). Nonetheless, this hasn't stopped Chris from blowing literally thousands of dollars on children's toys. Naturally, her "art" and photographs are only really of any value to trolls, and thankfully few people have been foolish enough to give her hand-outs. Which is for the best, given that she may finally be forced to face a situation her mother can't bail her out of, and maybe, just maybe, learn something from it. Or not.
More curiously, Chris began identifying as a lesbian in August 2014, and denied that there is no such thing as a male lesbian (citing Yahoo! Answers as proof). While she seemed to soften her stance on gay men (very reluctantly), she also indicated that she hated her own duck, in addition to her pre-existing hatred of ducks in general.
In July, Chris claimed to have a girlfriend. Needless to say, many doubted it would last.
As of Halloween, Chris has been swanning around attending (and likely ruining) LGBTQ events around Charlottesville, including attending a Halloween party at a gay bar dressed as a lesbian from the 70s. At such events, she obviously mingles with people infinitely more accepting and kind than herself. This necessarily will result either in Chris becoming a better person or in Chris being banned and ostracized from these gatherings. If history suggests a single thing, it is that the latter scenario will occur.
In early November, it was confirmed that her latest sweetheart, Catherine, was yet another troll persona. This has led to an outpouring of disappointment and disgust from many of her unappreciated abettors, who were hoping that, for once, Chris had got lucky. It is unclear, but likely, that she was the same woman mentioned above who was dating her in July.
This glimmer of pity was extinguished in December, as Chris violated a ban and assaulted an employee in an outing to GameStop on Boxing Day. She assaulted the store's Assistant Manager, who was calling security, with mace; showing that, again, Chris has yet to learn anything from her mistakes, if she even regards them as mistakes to begin with. Only time will tell how much trouble Chris has landed herself in this time, but given her current financial status and history, it can't be good. Needless to say, Chris has no one to blame but herself for this mess, which isn't to say she won't try.
In January 2015, Chris asked people to start referring her with female pronouns, and subsequently caused another ruckus at Wal-Mart. More generally, 2015 has seen Chris slowly shy away from her traditional bigotry towards men and homosexuals (while still keeping up her ludicrous crusade against Sega over the color scheme of a certain cartoon rodent and dramatizing her experience with trolls), and finally develop enough self-awareness to try and know herself. She has indicated in several Facebook posts that she is still trying to gauge her own sexuality and sexual identity; she has yo-yoed between wanting to remain a transvestite and wanting to transition into womanhood.
Chris performed the sequels to some of her greatest hits in 2016.
Original | Sequel |
Recycling | Chris's Specimen Sample |
For Julie's Eyes Only | IMG 3207 |
Carlos Chantor | Stephanie Bustcakes |
Un-clit | Un-clit 2.0 |
In addition:
- Barb was sued by two banks, due to failure to pay over $20,000 of debt, kicking off the Financhu Crisis, in which she and Chris both begged for money like jackasses, while their hoards were clearly visible behind them.
- The Sellout saga was essentially concluded when Chris was banned from Etsy for failing to send orders. She continued to duck responsibility for her inability to put down the PS4 controller long enough to slap together her preschool-level arts and crafts, choosing to blame Lulu for being "the bugger that bit my ass bad and killed my creative groove".
- Her Oedipal complex veered into disturbing new levels when she freely announced that she dreams about having sex with her mother.
- She made multiple death threats against political figures Donald Trump and Mike Pence.
Aliases
Christian Weston Chandler has a wide array of names she has given herself. She was born Christopher Weston Chandler, but changed to "Christian" at the behest of the "mall conductor bear". In either case, she answers to "Chris" and "Chris-Chan". Unusually, Chris will often refer to herself by her full name, or if she's feeling especially formal, "Christopher Christian Weston Chandler". She is unusually proud of her initials "CWC" and often incorporates them into her creations and various puns on the word "quick".
In 2016, she filed for another name change to "Christine Weston Chandler."[16]
Chris's nickname in her high school Spanish classes was "Ricardo", and to this day she translates her own name to "Ricardo Weston Chandler" when writing or speaking in Spanish, likely due to her ignorance of the fact that you generally don't translate your own name when speaking in another language. At times she will literally announce herself as "Christopher Christian 'Ricardo' Weston Chandler", or variants thereof, to precisely identify herself. When Chris revealed she wanted to be referred to with feminine pronouns, she began calling herself "Christine".
Occasionally, Chris will use the names of her characters to refer to herself, most notably her evil twin, Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc, and of course, Sonichu. In her comics, Chris has the ability to transform into an Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, named Chris-Chan Sonichu.
The only names commonly used to refer to Chris which she did not herself invent are "Chrissy" (popularized by Arjen Van Dierten) and Ian Brandon Anderson (popularized by Liquid Chris). Less notably, there is also "Solid Chris", used by some to differentiate her from Liquid in the tradition of a certain video game series. Certain A-Loggers have been known to refer to Chris as "Satan's Agent On Earth".
Featured fan video
CWC ~ A Sad Story | |
Stardate | 20 November 2009 |
Made By | IBAClydeCash |
TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos |
See also
- Christian Weston Chandler (comic character) - Chris's depiction of herself within her own comics.
- Chris-chan Sonichu - Chris's furry alter ego.
- Hundreds of personal photographs assembled for use in Chris's autobiographical DVD.
- User:GodofThunderGodofWar - Chris's own CWCki account
Sources
- ↑ Match.com#Profile text
- ↑ The Hook Cafe#Characteristics
- ↑ Re: We've been found AND mocked horribly! :( - The Tomboys And Tomgirls of Virginia post where Chris reveals herself (archive from 4 Aug 2011)
- ↑ https://kiwifarms.net/threads/what-will-happen-when-barb-dies.10000/page-96#post-1853572
- ↑ Chris Destroys Her Vibrator
- ↑ CWC with Bible - Leviticus
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#His Early Years - Birth to 1992
- ↑ 6 March 2007 email from Cole to Chris, page 3
- ↑ Aspergers (CWCipedia article)
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 4
- ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate November 7th, 2007
- ↑ Sonichu #7, [1]
- ↑ DVD, graduation note 2
- ↑ Story of My Current Days#Story of My Current Days
- ↑ Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares, page 10.
- ↑ https://kiwifar.ms/threads/chris-filed-for-a-legal-name-change-update-the-judgement-is-in.20763/
External links
Christian Weston Chandler at the Internet Movie Database
Chris and... |
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